Melissa Swanson -- Mom on the move

Scared to go to bed.........

2009-08-09T23:39:00.003-05:00

Ok, so it's 11:15 p.m. on Sunday night, and I'm scared to go to bed. Not because there is a monster under my bed or I'm hearing strange noises outside. It's b/c I caught my 4 boys (ages 6, 9, 10 and 12) making a YouTube video of them trying to kill each other, not literally, but that's what they called it. I walked in on them throwing duffle bags full of clothes at my 6 year old's head. So, I shut the computers off, scolded them the best I could and got in bed.

Then, I heard a lot of laughing. I got up and opened the bedroom door and my 12 year old was tied to a chair with a metal pipe running through the rope. I'm not sure what the pipe was about or where they even found it. They said that they were timing him to see how long it would take him to get untied. That was only 5 minutes after I found them making the video. I mean, what was coming next? My husband assures me that this is normal boy behavior.

When you get 4 boys together so close in age, things like this are bound to happen, right? RIght? Or am I just living in a zoo?

Oh, and tomorrow, there will be 6 kids here. I'm also keeping my sister's two kids. Fun, fun! The good part about that is that one of them is a baby. I LOVE babies!

Anyway, now I have to stay up until I think they're asleep. Ugh!

Another thing......my 9 year old lost his first molar today. So, I went to get it from him and told him to put it under the pillow in the extra bedroom b/c the tooth fairy wouldn't come in there if one of them was still awake. He looked at me and started laughing. I said, "What?" He said, "Do you really think I believe in the tooth fairy?" I said, "Who told you there wasn't one?" He said, "I'm 9 mom; I'm good like that!" I wanted to start crying right then. My baby is growing up. I say my baby b/c the oldest two boys are my step-sons, so I haven't been around for all of their "losing of teeth". They live with their mom in Texas.

I have to admit that I told my boys that there wasn't an Easter bunny. They caught me putting out the baskets last year. We always go camping on Easter weekend, and I have to keep them in the trunk of the car under a blanket. They saw them before. I tried to lie, but it didn't work. Finally, I said, "Do you really think there is a huge bunny hopping around with a million Easter baskets? That would just freak me out!" They thought that was funny.

Well, that's all for now. I'm sure I bored everyone to death. Maybe I made a few of you realize that your life isn't really that bad after all, LOL.

Oh crap. I just heard one of my boys declaring proudly that he could fart his name. Then, I heard a bunch of boys going, "Ooooh" and gagging. How do you fart your name?

Merry Christmas To Everyone!

2008-12-10T12:43:00.002-06:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

"Update on 11-month-old needing liver"

2008-09-20T17:35:00.003-05:00

I wanted to update everyone on the last post. I let everyone know that there was a family looking for a liver for their 11-month old boy.

I have wonderful news!

The night of this post, early in the morning, he received a cadaver liver.

The last I talked to the family, he was doing well.

Thank you to everyone that contacted me regarding this. I'm sure I'll be contacted about more in the future.

Melissa

"Should I Donate?"

2008-09-18T01:14:00.005-05:00

Hey everyone! I wanted to update everyone on what's going on in my life. I've gotten a lot of emails from readers asking how I'm doing and what's going on. I really appreciate people caring enough to check on me. Keep sending me emails. My email address is melswanson@gannett.com. There really hasn't been a whole lot of change since the last post. I'm doing very well. I can't complain. Othere than being tired, I'm not having any major complications.

I've had several people contact me b/c they're thinking of being a live donor. If anyone is interested in learning more about the donation process and how it works, feel free to email me. I will be glad to help you out in any way I can. My goal is to bring as much attention to living organ donation as possible.

I got the most heartbreaking email yesterday. A lady wrote me asking if I would consider donating part of my liver to her 11-month old son that's dying of liver failure. Unfortunately, liver failure is very progressive with no real treatment. So, he doesn't have much time. It is possible to donate part of your liver and your liver will regenerate itself. They put part of your liver in the recipient, and it also grows to a full liver. Anyway, it broke my heart to have to tell her that I was not able to donate part of mine at this time. I can't even consider something like that for another year. I wouldn't pass the tests since I just donated part of my kidney. Otherwise, I would definitely do it.

The little boys blood type is A+. So, if you're type A or type 0, you may be able to donate. If absolutely anyone that reads this is interested in learning more about donation or donating to this child, PLEASE contact me. I am working on getting some pictures and more information about the family. All I know right now is that they will probably be sent to Children's Hospital in Dallas if he gets a transplant.

I told the family that I would help them find a donor. So, I'm going to post updated information as I get it. PLEASE email me at any time with questions.

Melissa

"Update: 5 weeks post kidney donation"

2008-09-11T20:41:00.005-05:00

Hi again! I wanted to update everyone on what's going on post-transplant. I have been moving for the past 2 weeks and haven't had much time to blog.

I've had one scare recently with dehydration, but nothing too serious. Honestly, I'm doing very well considering all the stuff I'm able to do now. I'm pretty good at overdoing it too soon. I did that after this surgery and paid for it for a while. Now, things are much better.

I've talked to Masud and his wife, Sharmin, several times recently. Masud is doing very well! He gave me some really good news 2 days ago. He said that he was able to play with his kids for the first time in a long time. That almost made me cry. It was so important to his older son for him to be able to do that. Anyway, he's doing great! His kidney levels are in normal range (on the high side of normal). The doctor's said they are very happy with his progress. He's no longer having pain and not too tired anymore.

"Update: 3 weeks post kidney donation"

2008-08-26T20:38:00.004-05:00

Hey everyone! I haven't written in a week or so b/c I've been busy trying to catch up at work. I'm also busy packing b/c we're moving soon. I'm not moving away; just to a new house. I know, I know....bad timing. I'm great at that, lol.

So, the only thing that's changed since the last post is that I'm getting better each day. I'm finding that I tire very easily, but that's expected. Until my kidney functions gets back to normal, I will be tired a lot. I should be back to normal in about 3 months or so. It's a small price to pay for someone's life, so I try not to complain too much.

I appreciate all of you that have sent me your well wishes, kind thoughts, and especially for those of you that prayed. Where would we be without prayer? I don't even want to think about it.

In other news........
My baby started Kindergarten yesterday. I thought for sure that I would cry. But, I surprised myself. Instead, I dropped him off and told him to have a seat. Then, I turned around and ran as fast as I could, LOL!

"KTAL Kidney Donation Follow-Up"

2008-08-20T20:15:00.004-05:00

KTAL recently did a follow-up story on the kidney donation. Here's a link to the video:

http://arklatexhomepage.com/media_player.php?media_id=31721

"The Times Story"

2008-08-15T22:16:00.006-05:00

I forgot to add this story to my blog. The Shreveport Times did some short stories a while back. This is one of them:

http://www.shreveporttimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080806/NEWS01/808060363">

"Pictures from the surgery"

2008-08-15T21:06:00.019-05:00

I wanted to let everyone know that I'm now home and doing very well. I wanted to share some pictures from my "trip". Here goes:

Here's a picture taken of Masud (the recipient), left, and his friend at the hospital right before surgery.

This picture is, from left to right, of me, Masud, and my aunt Carolyn right before surgery. Sorry, I wasn't allowed to wear make-up.

This picture is of, from left to right, me, Masud, my aunt Carolyn, and Sharmin (Masud's wife).

This picture was taken after they took Masud and I to the pro-op area. That is my aunt Carolyn, me, and Sharmin. You can see Masud over to the far right of the picture. We were all cracking up and making lots of jokes. It was great!

This was also taken in pre-op. It was seconds before they wheeled me out for surgery. I told them I wanted to walk, but they wouldn't let me, lol. Notice how puffy my face is? That's b/c they pumped me full of fluids before the surgery. It's supposed to help Masud somehow. I guess they need to see if it will produce urine. He looked so sick.

This picture was taken 2 days after surgery. I had been released the night before. Masud was released the next day.

Here's a picture of Masud and my aunt Carolyn the same day. Masud's color had gotten so much better.

This picture was taken a 5 days after surgery. We all got together with Masud's friends to have a thank-you/farewell party. There were over 30 people there. I was so touched. Everyone was super nice! In this picture you see Sharmin, my aunt, me and some friends. I don't remember everyone's name b/c there were so many people.

I was presented a plaque from the Bangladesh Association of Phoenix, Arizona thanking for for my gift. The plaque reads:
"Dear Melissa Swanson,
You have touched the heart of our community with the uniqe gift of life. You will be remembered forever with love and gratitude." I cried pretty soon after this picture was taken.

"Kidney Donation: Day 4"

2008-08-09T17:14:00.003-05:00

Well, today is the 4th day after the operation. It's also the first day that I've felt really good. I'm still having pain (obviously), but I got out and went shopping in two stores today. I felt like I really needed to get out. I got a burst of energy today.
I'm starting to realize that it's important to rest a lot the first couple of days after surgery, but then you really need to get moving. It's been hard for me to walk a lot b/c we're in a hotel room. I just sit around watching tv or web surfing or working.
Now that I realize I can get out and do stuff, I think I'll get better. This will hopefully help with the soreness. I've only had to take one pain pill today, which is really good. I'll probably only take one more at bedtime. Yippee! I'm finally turning the corner.
Please keep Masud in your prayers.

"A Wonderful Surprise"

2008-08-08T20:31:00.005-05:00

Today has been a great day! It started off with a little pain and a lot of sleepiness. However, I got a great surprise today.

Masud and his wife, Sharmin, and their son, Maheeb (4) showed up at my hotel room to surprise me. Masud had just been discharged from the hospital. It's only been 3 days since the transplant. It's absolutely amazing that he's doing so well. I don't think he was kicked out of the hospital. I think he was really ready to leave.

This entire experience has been one miracle after another. I'm amazed every single day. Masud was originally supposed to be on at least 20 medications to prevent rejection after the surgery. He left the hospital today with only 2 anti-rejection medications. They doctors said that they were simply amazed by what a perfect match we were. They told us that we were a better match than most siblings. That's why they think he's healing so fast.

While they were visiting me, Sharmin grabbed my hands and said, "Melissa, you have no idea what you've done. Saying thank you is just not enough. I don't know what else I can do. You have truly saved his life and changed our lives forever."

I tried to tell her that it was ok, but I kept tearing up. I never did this for any kind of thanks or attention. I simply wanted to give those children their father back. God answered all of our prayers and is now answering with an astounding "YES"!

I will keep everyone updated. Until then, please continue to pray for Masud that he will not reject the kidney.

With love,
Melissa

"Kidney Donation Update"

2008-08-06T17:51:00.003-05:00

Hey everyone. I just wanted to let everyone know that I've been discharged from the hospital and am back at my hotel room. I'm staying at the Hampton Inn & Suites in Scottsdale, AZ. It's only been about 34 hours since the surgery. I was up out of the bed 30 minutes after coming out of the recovery room. Those of you that know me know that I'm pretty stubborn. I'm having some pain, but it's a small price to pay. Honestly, I'm doing great!
Masud Khondoker (the kidney recipient) is also doing great! The doctors said that when they removed my left kidney, it was one of the largest, healthiest ones they'd ever seen. As soon as they put the kidney in Masud, he started producing large amounts of urine. By the time he got to his room, he already looked 100% better than before surgery. His skin had gotten very dark and blotchy b/c of the toxins in his blood. Now his skin is back to normal. Almost all of his kidney tests are completely normal.
I've also passed all of my tests. The only restrictions I have are to not play any contact sports ever (no problem with that) and don't take Ibuprofen if possible. I can live with that. Of course, I can't lift anything for a couple of months.
Anyway, I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm ok, he's ok, and I'm already "back to work" from my hotel room. Thank you for all your prayers!
Melissa Swanson

So far, so good

2008-08-05T17:14:00.002-05:00

Surgery Day:
Everything's fine. When Masud received the kidney, it started producing urine immediately. He may get to go home in three days. Melissa will be home on Aug. 13.

So far, so good.

Update posted by Stephanie Bemrose, coworker.

"The Day is Finally Here!"

2008-08-04T22:39:00.006-05:00

I arrived in Phoenix, AZ yesterday evening. I was met at the airport by Masud (recipient), Sharmin (wife & mother), and their two boys, Farib and Maheeb. This time, I wasn't alone. My aunt, Carolyn Drake (aka LaLa) came to be with me for the surgery. So, she got to meet Masud and his family at the airport. Everyone instantly clicked. Lala fell in love with all of them immediately! Now she feels like she's here for not only me, but also for Masud and Sharmin.

For those of you that didn't get to see the KTBS news feature about this, click on this link:
http://www.ktbs.com/player/player.cfm?video_id=10922&current_zone=3&video_zone=3

I tried to explain to everyone how wonderful this family was. If you met them, you would immediately understand why I want to help them. They are just a precious family; very humble.
They have gone out of their way to make sure that LaLa and I are comfortable during our stay here. We have the best hotel room. It's the Hampton Inn & Suites in Scottsdale, AZ. We're staying in a suite. We just happen to get the biggest one in the hotel. The front desk guy said that he was going to take good care of me and "hook me up"! He did. It's like an apartment. There is a full kitchen, a separate living room and a separate bedroom. There are also flat screen tv's. I wish I could fit one of them in my suitcase, LOL.

Well, this is my last post before I have the surgery. I will try to get news to everyone as soon as possible as to how the surgery went. Please say a prayer for Masud and I.

Click HERE to leave a comment.

"On the News-KTAL"

2008-08-01T09:05:00.003-05:00

Here is a video feed that KTAL has posted on their website about this kidney donation. I was interviewed today in my home.

http://arklatexhomepage.com/media_player.php?media_id=24151

"Kidney Donation Video"

2008-07-25T20:17:00.004-05:00

This is a video that I did about the kidney donation for The Times:

"The Waiting Game"

2008-07-21T16:56:00.008-05:00

Well, I went and had my blood tests done today. I won't find out for a couple of days if we passed or not. I did have an interesting day. A photographer from The Times went with me to have the bloodwork done. The ladies at the lab and I got to have our pictures taken.

I also went back to The Times photo studio and had a video made to go on their website. Some time this week, they will be doing a story for the paper. I'm just trying to get the word out about kidney donation. A lot of people don't realize that it's even a possibility to donate to a stranger.

There are probably a lot of people that would never think about it, but there are many that would. To me, it's worth the embarrassment of media attention to get even one person to donate.

For now, I just wait again. I'll let everyone know as soon as I hear if the surgery is a go. I hope this is the last time I have to wait. It's hard.

To leave a comment, click HERE.

"Awaiting Last Cross-Match"

2008-07-19T21:46:00.005-05:00

I've been sitting here at my computer all evening reading people's stories about kidney donation. I'll tell you one thing. It's something that can give you a good feeling and scare the you know what out of you at the same time.

For the most part, the stories I've read have been nothing but beautiful. Most people have no problems.

The one thing that is worrying me is that people have come as far as the final cross-match (done 2 weeks before the scheduled surgery to make sure neither of us have developed new antibodies against each other) and failed. Masud and I have already had a cross-match blood test done and were a match.

I just read a story about someone that was a match and got to the final cross-match and it showed that they were not a match anymore. One of them had developed new antibodies since the first one. To me, that's horrible.

We've come so far. I don't want to let anyone down. I know I've done all I can. I guess I just need more prayers to make sure that this blood test goes ok. Please say a prayer for Masud and I, Melissa.

Monday is the day of the test. I am going to be going to a local hospital to have it done. As if that's not enough pressure, I'm having a photographer/videographer follow me (from our local newspaper, where I work) to take pictures and video. I have no idea what I'm going to say on the video. I'm definitely not a public speaker. I'm not shy, but it's not an interview. It will just be me talking for 1 or 2 minutes. Help! LOL!

I think that after this test, I'll finally be able to truly relax. I've been in pucker-mode ever since the first email that was exchanged between the recipient and I. It can be a stressful process. It's nothing I can't handle though. I'm pretty tough. I just want to give a true account of this whole process for my readers.

There may be people that are thinking of donating that read this. I want them to see the bad as well as the good. Mostly, this is a positive experience. It's just hard waiting to hear the results each time you have a test done. The days leading up to the tests, you get nervous. I have a very strong feeling of "I can't let this family down". I know that it's not in my control, but it's something that most people go through. It's normal from what I've read and been told.

Well, all I want is for everyone to keep praying. For now, just pray that the cross-match test shows that Masud and I are still a match. I love all of you and thank you for your prayers so far.

Melissa

"Another In Need"

2008-07-14T22:12:00.004-05:00

While reading about experiences that other donors have had, I came across a mother that was begging anyone with a blood type O, between the ages of 18-35 and willing to travel, as I am doing with my "adventure".
So, I thought I'd share his story. Here's what his mother wrote in another forum:

dl626 Member since 28-Dec-0727 posts
19-Jun-08, 08:48 PM (EDT)

"Time to find a donor A or O"

I haven't been on this site in a while, and I kept hoping that my son was holding his own, but we found out today that his kidney function has had a major slip in the past 2 months. We have to find a donor for a transplant to occur within the next 18 months.
Our transplant center, Columbia Presbyterian in New York, has sent out screening questionnaires to 3 potential donors, but I can't pin my hopes on that. I am still searching so if you know anybody...
I was happy to see some very familiar names still on the forum, so I am hoping that you are all well. I was so encouraged by the post from susie0607 who said that her brother's first transplant lasted 28 years! That could be us. Colin turns 19 on July 14th, and I want to see him live to be 99 (which means I'll be 100 - it was a miracle birth )
Happy anniversary to Gabriela - hers were the first encouraging words I received on joining the forum months ago. Hi Karol, Beandonor, Orchidlady and everybody else. Hang in there!
With positive thoughts and wishes,
Donnalee
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/kidney4colin

"Questions Answered"

2008-07-14T10:09:00.008-05:00

I have been asked to post my answers to some very frequently asked questions. This will help everyone understand better as to why I decided to do this.

1. Are you getting money for donating.
No. I am not receiving any money or gifts for this. It’s against the law. I’m simply doing this to help.

2. How much money is it costing YOU?
All of the flight, hotel, and rental car expenses are being paid by the recipient. This is something that not all recipients can afford to do. Some donors opt to pay that themselves, but I’m not in the position to do so. As far as work goes, I don’t anticipate missing much work b/c I’m taking my laptop with me. I’ll only be in the hospital 1 or 2 days. After that, I’ll be working from my hotel room.

3. How much time do you think this will cost you?
Wow. This is a hard question. I’ve never sat down and figured it all out. I would guess that by the time I’m done with the surgery and follow-up appointments, it will have taken me about 24 days worth of emailing back and forth, taking blood tests, traveling, surgery, and follow-up appointments. As far time off from work, it won’t be much. I’m lucky enough to have a job where I work from home on a computer. I can easily do most of my job from Phoenix. For someone that’s considering doing this and they don’t have the luxury of working from home, it could be a problem. They have to make sure that their boss is supportive of their decision and potential time off from work. I would say that they would miss an average of about 4 weeks total for testing and recovery; possibly more. If you count time I've spend researching kidney donation, it's more like 40 days.

4. What do your boys think about it? Do they have different feelings about it due to their ages?
When I first approached my boys about this, they said, “What is that?” They didn’t even know what a kidney was. I showed a picture of it to them on the computer. I explained how I had two good ones and this man had no good ones and that I was just going to share one of my extra ones. My 8 year old son said, “That’s nice of you mommy.” My 5 year old said, “Yuck!” So, there is definitely a difference in intellectual understanding between the two of them. They have both been through surgeries with me before; even more major than this one. They know that mommy is pretty tough. They actually seem to be proud of me.

5. Have you thought about what would happen should one of your four boys need a kidney one day? What made you decide to donate even though they might need a kidney one day?
Yes, I have thought of that. It’s a question that I’ve been asked by many people. We don’t have kidney disease or diabetes in our family, so the likelihood of either of them having kidney disease is slim. They could have some kind of traumatic injury that could cause it. I’m the kind of person that believes that God must have given us two kidneys so that we could help others that don’t have a good one. I can’t withhold helping a sick person now just b/c one of my children MIGHT need one later. We have a large family, and I feel certain that we would have no trouble finding another kidney for my child. Plus, with the anti-rejections drugs that are available today, you don’t even have to be a perfect match.

6. You are a mom of four boys. There's always 'danger' in surgery. What pushed you toward this decision to donate despite that?
I am married. My husband is in the Air Force and is currently stationed in Kuwait until the end of September. Since my two step-sons live with their own mother, that’s not a concern. They will be taken care of. My boys will naturally go live with their father if something should happen to me during surgery. I know that they will be well taken care of and loved as much as I love them. It will be hard on them, but I hope that they would be proud of me anyway. If it’s God’s will for me to die donating a kidney, I’m ok with that. I have complete confidence in the doctors and staff at Mayo Clinic in Phoenix. It’s one of the best transplant hospitals in the country. They have not lost even one donor yet. That’s good enough odds for me.

7. What are the ethical issues, if any, you've dealt with and how did you resolve them?
The ethical issues I’ve dealt with are that I’m donating to a “stranger”. I put stranger in quotations because I feel like I’ve known this family forever. I originally met them on LivingDonorsOnline.org. So, ethicists wonder why someone would go out of their way to donate an organ to someone they don’t know. What benefit would I get from it? With a family member or friend, you get the benefit of having them around longer. With a stranger, you don’t get that. For me, the simple thought of being able to help someone is my benefit. My feet haven’t touched the ground ever since I found out we were a match. All I want out of this is simply to help another human being.One other ethical question I’ve been asked is “Do you think you’re playing God by choosing your donor directly?”. My answer is no. I don’t. I feel like I used the avenue that was available to me. It was either that or not at all, because I didn’t know of another way at the time. I knew there was a National Registry, but it costs about $75-80 to be tested, and the donor has to pay. I just couldn’t afford it. I feel like God would be proud that I’m helping, plain and simple.

These are the questions that I've been asked so far. I would be more than happy to answer any other questions.
If you have a question, email me at melswanson@gannett.com or click HERE to leave a comment.

"Gotta love little boys"

2008-07-09T08:38:00.003-05:00

I have to share something that my 5 year old son said to me this morning.

I was laying in the bed and he crawled in beside me and woke me up.

I was laying on my side. For all of you women that have had babies, you will understand this. When I lay on my side, all of my fat kind of falls over to my side as if it's no longer part of my body.

Well, my son put his arm around me and said, "Mommy, how did you get so fat?"

As most women do, I said, "From having babies son".

He looked up at me with those big brown eyes and so innocently said, "It looks like you're having another one".

Enough said. Time to get back on the diet.

"The Cause"

2008-07-06T21:02:00.007-05:00

Some people ask me why I'm doing this. This is a question that I've answered many times. I am simply doing it to help another person in need. I've always been a giving person. This just seems natural to me. It won't significantly affect my life, so why not?

Why am I blogging about this? It helps to answer many of my family and friends questions about kidney donation. Also, I'm hoping that it will bring attention to people in hopes that more people will come forward and donate.

I feel that there are a lot of people out there with big hearts that would be more than happy to donate to someone if they knew someone that needed one. Well, only a small percent of people know someone that needs a kidney, yet there are so many out there that do. There are also many that die each day waiting for a matching kidney that never comes. It's a needless and preventable death. Many of these people are children, mothers, fathers, grandparents, etc. It breaks my heart.

I was one of the people that wondered how I could donate to someone if I didn't know anyone that needed one. I had called the National Registry and found out that it cost money to get put on the list. It cost ME money to be tested! I didn't have it. So, I forgot about it.

It wasn't until a friend at school told me that he was waiting on a kidney that I reentertained the thought of donating. Unfortunately, we were not compatible blood types. As heartbreaking as it was to me, I knew that there had to be someone out there that I could help. To me it didn't really matter who it was.

I didn't really want to help out a serial killer or rapist, so I started looking online. That's when I found the website LivingDonorsOnline.org. This website was a Godsend to me. It was just what I had been looking for. I just needed a way to communicate with others that were searching for a kidney. So, I posted my blood type and told people that were compatible to email me. That's where it all began.

There is also a site called MatchingDonors.org that I've seen. This site works a little differently. It's more like a dating site. You get to see more about your potential recipient. They recipient has to pay a membership fee to have their profile on the site. The potential donors are free. So, the donors get on the site and look around until they find one they like.

Some say that it's ethically wrong to do it that way; that you're playing God. You're only picking people that have great computer and/or writing skills and possibly even the best looking candidate. Personally, I didn't like that site as much as the one that was more anonymous. I was willing to give my kidney to the first interested person that I got a good feeling from.

Unfortunately, there was no way of telling if the person was a serial killer or any of that. After talking to this family, the Mayo Clinic, and their friends, I feel pretty sure that he's not.

I feel very comfortable with this family and love them dearly. I feel blessed to be a part of their lives. Masud and I will forever share a bond that only he and I can understand. And, if after the surgery, he and his family decide that they want to move and and not revisit that part of their life over and over, I'm ok with not being a long-time friend as well. I will just write to make sure that he's ok. As far as I can tell, his wife, Sharmin, intends on staying friends with me. She and I bonded pretty instantly.

I also just came across a really neat site that talks about a sort of "chain donating". Click on this link to see the video:
http://www.kidneyregistry.org/

If anyone has any ethical issues that they would like to discuss with me, feel free to either leave a comment HERE or email me at melswanson@gannett.com.

"Calling All Kidneys" Blog

2008-07-02T22:12:00.004-05:00

I just wanted to let everyone know that I've started a new blog called "Calling All Kidneys" I wanted to keep this one as my parenting blog. So, you can keep updated on the donation at the following link. It will soon be posted on RedRiverMoms.com:
http://callingallkidneys.blogspot.com/

Kidney Donation: Good news!

2008-07-01T18:42:00.012-05:00

I'm approved! I got the call today around 5:00 p.m. saying that I am approved to donate my kidney to Masud Khondoker, a 44 year old man that lives in the Phoenix area, but is originally from Bangladesh. What are the odds?

This is the call that I've been so hoping to hear. Amongst all the chaos of my life, this is some very welcome news. I feel truly blessed to the one "chosen" to donate. I may have actually sought him out, but I still feel as though I was chosen by a greater power, God.

I want to thank everyone for all of their prayers. It worked!!!!!!!!

I guess the next step is to start praying that the surgery is a success.

Yiipppeeee!!!!!

Leave comments by clicking HERE.
Or you can email me at melswanson@gannett.com

"Kidney Donation: Part 8"

2008-07-01T11:17:00.007-05:00

I'm anxiously awating the phone call to find out if I was approved or not to donate. They review panel at Mayo Clinic in Phoenix is meeting as I type this (Tuesday).

I was told I would know by the end of the day or tomorrow some time. As soon as I know I will post it here.

Until then, keep praying.

"Kidney Donation: Part 7"

2008-06-27T12:28:00.008-05:00

I finally made it home! My plane arrived really late last night. I got stuck in Atlanta for several hours. I now understand how all of those people feel that are trying to travel around the holidays. I was laying on the floor and using my carry-on as a pillow. I have a new appreciation for the people that work at the airport check-in desks. They were getting chewed out constantly for things that were not within their control. It's got to be a horrible job.
Anyway, moving on.........
As far as I know, all the tests went pretty well. There are still a couple of them that they don't have the results of. I was told that the "review committee" will meet Tuesday morning to decide whether or not I'm approved to donate. Their team gets together every Tuesday to go over any patients that have been testing. I'm supposed to find out Tuesday afternoon or Wednesday. Wish me luck!
I have a pretty good feeling. Of course, there is always the chance that they found something that I don't know about. I do know that they found a kidney stone in my right kidney. How ironic is that?! They said that it was so small that I should pass it without any problems. Sounds like fun huh? Apparently, that won't affect me donating.
I'll let everyone know as soon as I find out.

Please feel free to leave comments or ask any questions by clicking HERE. Or, you can email me at melswanson@gannett.com.

"Kidney Donation: Part 6"

2008-06-25T01:33:00.011-05:00

I'm now on my 2nd full day of testing at the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix, AZ. Things have been pretty intense the last couple of days. I had heard that they really put potential donors through the ringer and they weren't kidding. To me, the psychiatrist was the hardest part. Her job is to bring up all of the most horrible parts of your past and see how you react to that. Then, to tell you all the reasons why you shouldn't donate a kidney to someone. I understand that they have to do that to make sure that I'm not crazy and can handle the pressure.

Mainly the testing process is difficult b/c there are so many different tests. They check you from head to toe, inside to outside. Since these doctors took the oath to do no harm, they have to be really sure that they're not going to take a perfectly healthy, YOUNG (yes, I said young) woman and make her worse.

For now, I don't have any answers. I feel like everything has gone fine so far. But, the tests results won't be in until later in the week. I wanted to add a few pictures that were taken last night when I went to Masud's house to meet some of their closest friends.

"Kidney Donation-Part 5: I've arrived!"

2008-06-22T23:45:00.013-05:00

Well, I finally made it to Pheonix. I'm sitting in my hotel room. I met Masud, Sharmin, and their two little boys today at the airport. I spent the rest of the evening with them. We got a rental car, my hotel room, and then went out to dinner. We all had a great time! Here's a picture from dinner below: I have to start by telling what happened when I got off the plane though. They were all waiting for me right outside the security checkpoint. When I came around the corner, I could see this tiny woman running towards me. She way crying. It was Sharmin (Masud, the recipient's, wife). Sharmin and I hugged for at least 3 minutes. Behind her was Masud, Fahib (10 yr old son), and Maheeb (4 yr old son). Fahib handed me a teddy bear with a Arizona tshirt on and said, "Thank you so much for coming!" Of course, Masud and I hugged. Then, I hugged the little one. He's adorable. He reminds me a lot of my little one.

I had met a guy about my age on the plane. He was sitting next to me. We talked and I told him the story about how I was flying to Pheonix for medical tests b/c I was donating my kidney to a stranger. He was in awe. I think I ended up talking him into considering it himself. It's a very personal decision; that's for sure. Well, he walked with me off the plane and to the place where I was to meet this family. I think he was making sure everything was ok. I thought it was sweet. He stood there while I hugged all of them. I think when he saw her cyring, it made his decision. I could just see that look on his face.

Well, I'm going to make this one short. It's past midnight Shreveport time. So, I'm pretty tired. I'll write more each night to let everyone know how the tests are going. Keep praying for all of us.

Melissa

"Kidney Donation-Part 4"

2008-06-19T19:24:00.011-05:00

I decided to change the title of my blogs so that people searching on the internet could read about my experience. I have found a lot of comfort in reading about other people that have gone through a similar experience. There is a ton of good information out there. I feel that it helped me make my decision to do this.

Even though it wasn't hard for me to decide to donate my kidney to a stranger, it's a big decision for some people; especially when you're donating to a stranger. You definitely have to have the support of your family and friends. It's not really something that I talk to my parents much about. It's a conversation that I dreaded having. I knew that they would be worried. I was not looking forward to trying to convince them that I had NOT lost my mind. Surprisingly, they were ok with it. They're concerned, just as I would be for my kids. I understand that part.

I feel that if they knew this family like I've grown to know them, they would know why I was doing this." This are some of the nicest, most genuine, people that I've met in a while. I guess b/c they are so gracious. I never did this to get any kind of thanks or gratitude from anyone. I am doing it simply to help another human being. I'm mainly doing it b/c they have two little boys that won't grow up to see their father without a transplant. How could I not help?

I'm so glad that she wrote in her original email that she had two boys (most of the first emails came from the recipient's wife). That's what drew me in to this family as opposed to the handful of other families that had written me. For those of you that don't know, I met this person on LivingDonorsOnline.org. It's a site that has message boards where you can list your blood type and offer your kidney to anyone that matches. The site will then send you emails if someone tries to contact you. When I first signed up, I got a lot of emails. I am A+ which is a very common blood type. When I opened my email the next day, I had about 15 emails from different families begging for my help. It was heart wrenching. I had to decide which family I wanted to write back. I couldn't make that decision so I wrote all of them back asking what the first step would be. I "took" the one that answered my question. I was looking for that feeling that it was right. I immediately felt this when I got her email. The only thing that I asked was that she send me pictures. I wanted to see who I was talking to. Of course, I sent her pictures of me. After that, the rest was easy.

Please feel free to leave comments or ask any questions by clicking HERE. Or, you can email me at melswanson@gannett.com.

"Kidney Donation-Part 3"

2008-06-19T19:05:00.011-05:00

Well, I only have 3 days before I leave for Pheonix, AZ to begin the medical tests to see if I'm healthy enough to donate my kidney. I have to say that I'm a little anxious. Not really b/c of the tests but because of the fact that I'm going to meet the recipient and his family for the first time. I'm not sure why that makes me nervous.

I guess I'm worried that they won't like me or that we will run out of things to talk about. I'm sure that they are a lot more worried than I am. They have to think about the possibility that I could back out. I know that I would never do that, but I've heard stories of it happening.

I'm not at all nervous about having the surgery. I've had several surgeries in my life and have always healed very quickly. I think part of that is b/c I'm stubborn and refuse to sit around and wait for my body to heal. I tend to do thing before I'm supposed to. When I had my hysterecomty (ovaries removed) earlier this year, I was up at the office after only 5 days. There were just things that had to be done. Mostly I worked from home, but I wasn't in much pain, so I went up there.

I'm a firm believer in taking the pain medicine that they give me to take. I don't think there is any reason to suffer. I don't have a high pain tolerance so it's usually needed. Some people can stop taking them before they leave the hospital, but that's just not me. I guess I'm not that tough.

Anyway, I need everyone's prayers while I'm gone. Pray that they decide I'm healthy enough to donate and that I pass the barrage of psychological tests they give me. They mainly want to see that I'm donating for the right reasons. I know I am, but I now have to prove it to strangers.

Wish me luck!

Please feel free to leave comments or ask any questions by clicking HERE. Or, you can email me at melswanson@gannett.com.

"Kidney Donation-Part 2"

2008-06-11T12:46:00.030-05:00

So, once I realized that this was something that I definitely wanted to pursue, I asked Masud's (the recipient) wife, Sharmin, what I needed to do.

She informed me that they were currently going through testing with a local person (Phoenix, AZ). She told me that the Mayo Clinic would only test one possible donor at a time. She said for me to pray that that person was a match. I told her that they were in my prayers.

About a week later, she emailed me saying that she just found out that the other person "was not a match-cannot donate". Those were her exact words. Can you imagine what a letdown that is to a family that is praying for a miracle? She also asked if I was still interested. Still interested? Of course!

Immediately I wrote back to her and told her that I was still very interested and needed to know what the first step would be for me.

She called her tranplant coordinator at Mayo Clinic and then emailed me back. She said that I would be working with my own tranplant coordinator at Mayo and her name was Maya. I was given her phone number and asked to call her. I called her immediately. I had to leave a voicemail. About 3 days later, I talked to Maya. She told me that the first step was a phone interview about my medical history. She said that someone would be calling me soon.

So, for the next few days, I waiting for that call. It was stressful. When the phone finally rang, of course I was pulling into my driveway. My kids were fighting and I was trying to calm them down. Thankfully, the lady on the other end of the line was very patient.

For about 30 minutes, she asked me about everything medical thing that has ever happened to me. It took a while to tell her all that. Despite my extensive medical history, I remain pretty healthy. All the bad parts have been removed. I was informed that the next step was for someone to review my interview to see if I sounded healthy enough to proceed to the next step, blood tests.

About a week later, I got that call. They were sending me a package in the mail and I was to take it to a local lab and have my blood drawn, then Fed-Ex it back to the Mayo Clinic. It was an odd process to me.

I went to Willis-Knighton Pierremont to the hospital lab. They drew the blood for me. They didn't even charge anything to do it. I thought that was nice. Once I left there, I realized that there were some very specific instructions on how to package these vials of blood. Instead of going back into the hospital, I went across the street to my ob/gyn's office. They have a lab inside. I told the ladies there what I was doing and they helped me package everything up the correct way. Thanks ladies! I then Fed-Ex'd the package overnight to Mayo Clinic.

Now came the hard part. I had to wait a little over a week to find out if Masud and I were a match. The chances of two strangers from different nationalities being a match are very slim. I'm not sure what the odds are, but I think it's like 1:500,000. So, I prepared myself for the fact that we probably wouldn't be a match.

I was shopping in Old Navy when I got the call. It was Maya. She said, "Melissa, I have some good news! You were a perfect match to Masud. You can proceed with the next step."

Wow! I was stunned. I called Sharmin, Masud's wife right there in Old Navy. She was so excited. She couldn't believe it. She said, "I've always felt like I was talking to my sister, so I can see how you two would match."

Well, after a little bit of celebrating, we had to wait yet again. This time for the phone call to come to set up scheduling for all the medical tests that will need to be done to make sure I'm healthy enought to donate.

We got that call much earlier than expected. Within 1 day of finding out we were a match, the tests were scheduled. I did find out that I would have to fly to Phoenix, AZ to do the tests. I have to meet with the surgical team, have many psychological tests done, MRI's, CT scans, X-rays, blood tests, etc., etc., etc..

So, I leave June 22 for 4 days. If I pass all the tests, they will then schedule the surgery. I'm hoping to have it done this summer. The sooner the better. I would like to be able to be here when my youngest son starts kindergarten and my other son goes into 3rd grade.

Until then, everyone keep this family and me in your prayers. Please pray that the doctor's will find that I'm healthy enough to donate. Also, pray that Masud's health will remain good enough to make it to the surgery.

I'll keep everyone updated.

Please feel free to leave comments or ask any questions by clicking HERE. Or, you can email me at melswanson@gannett.com.

"Kidney Donation-Part 1"

2008-06-04T15:09:00.018-05:00

On April 12th, 2008, I began a journey that would lead me to the point I am at now. I am going through the process of donating a kidney to what was a complete stranger. Throughout this process, we have become good friends.

Many ask me, "What made you decide to donate your kidney to a stranger?"

That is not a simple question, but the only simple answer I can give is, "Because I can!"

While attending Bossier Parish Community College a few semesters ago, I learned of a classmate that was on dialysis and needed a kidney. As soon as he told me about it, I said, "I would need to talk to my husband first, but I would be more than happy to donate a kidney to you if I were a match". He was touched. We soon found out that our blood types were not compatible. It broke my heart that I could not help him.

After that, I wanted to find out if I could be placed on the National Registry, if there even was one. I found that that it did exist, but it costs $75 to get tested. At the time, I couldn't have afforded that. So, I did some more research on living kidney donation. I came across a website called LivingDonorsOnline.org. I was curious. So I went to the site and clicked on the message boards. Basically, it was a lot of people, like me, that were entertaining the thought of donating to someone. They would post their blood type and email address. So, I thought, "Why not?" I posted that I was A+ and willing to donate my "extra" kidney to anyone that needed it. I got many, many emails. Some of them were not very personal. I responded to all of them asking what the first step would be. Most of them never wrote me back.

But, on April 19, 2008, I got a reply from a woman named Sharmin Khondoker. She was desperately looking for a kidney for her husband and the father of her two little boys, ages 4 and 10. Having boys that age myself, it caught my attention. How horrible would it be for those children to know that their daddy will not live much longer without a transplant. Not only did Masud (the man needing the transplant) need a transplant, but he had a very long wait to get a cadaver kidney. He needed help and fast! He needed a miracle in the form of a live donor.

I found Sharmin's email to be very heartwrenching. It's the one that spoke to me. I immediately started praying that God would lead me in the right direction. I constantly asked, "Is this right for me?" It didn't take long for me to figure out that it was.

Please feel free to leave comments or ask any questions by clicking HERE. Or, you can email me at melswanson@gannett.com.

Read more soon.

Update on diet

2008-04-17T15:06:00.001-05:00

I just wanted to post a short update on my weigh-in today. I weighed 198.5. So, I've lost another 2 lbs in 2 days!

I also got measured today. I've lost 7 inches total. It was mainly in my bust and waist.

I've dropped almost 2 entire pants sizes as of this morning.

My BMI dropped to a 31! That's unbelievable to me.

"Weakling in Training"

2008-04-15T19:30:00.006-05:00

I forgot to mention in my last blog entry that I did my upper body workout for the first time today.

I had no idea that I was so weak.

On a couple of the machines, I had trouble lifting the thing with no weight on it, LOL! I also fell flat on my face when this picture was taken. I was trying to do push-ups. Not a good idea for those of you that have biceps where your triceps should be (otherwise known as flappy arm syndrome).

I don't want to get bowed up or anything. I just want to tone up. So, I'm going to keep trying. I looked like a moron doing all those machines with no weight on them. I was surrounded by good looking men. How humiliating.

Now when I do lower body workouts, I do much better. On the leg press, I can lift about 80-100 lbs. That's good for me. I've had knee surgery and am still able to do that much just starting out.

I hate doing the leg curls and calf exercises.

I'm trying to find new ways to tone up the sides of my upper butt. You know what I mean ladies! It's the thing that all our moms call "pones". How do you get rid of those? I hate them! Any suggestions?
Click HERE to leave me a message.

"On a roll"

2008-04-15T14:21:00.003-05:00

UPDATE:

I went in for a "weigh-in" today at Metabolic. I lost more weight! I'm now at 200.5 lbs. I started at 208.5. So, in 8 days, I've lost 8 lbs. I think that's pretty good.
I've been sticking to my diet for the most part. I haven't been drinking as much water as I should. I am supposed to drink like 64 ounces/day. I drink about 44. That's as much as my body can hold right now. After starving myself for so long, my stomach shrunk. I'm slowly stretching it back out to where I can hold normal amounts of food.
For all of you out there that are thinking about starving yourself to lose weight, it doesn't work if you're over 30! I actually gained weight b/c my metabolism completely shut down. As a matter of fact, I gained about 40 pounds since August. That's how much damage not eating can do. Obviously, it's not healthy either.
Oh, I've also started going to the gym. I've added the "Body For Life" workout routine to my Metabolic diet. So, I plan on going to the gym 4-5 times each week. Wish me luck!

"A Series of Unfortunate Events"

2008-04-10T14:23:00.002-05:00

I wanted to update everyone on my progress on this diet.

A series of unfortunate events led me to fold this past weekend. I was doing really well. Then, Saturday morning I started getting really bad headaches. The ladies at Metabolic told me to expect them. I guess it's detox from caffeine, sugar, and salt. Well, they were right.

Since I had such horrible headaches, I threw up when I tried to eat. So, of course, the logical thing to do was grab a few Pringles chips. That did the trick! I ate about 5 of them. Those 5 kept me from losing any weight that day.

Then, Sunday night, I spend several hours in the emergency room with my 8 year old son. We thought he had broken his foot on the trampoline. Thank God it was sprained. He ended up on crutches. Well, anyway, I had to eat dinner out of a vending machine that night. I tried to pick the healthiest thing they had. But, since there were no pretzels, I ended up eating salted peanuts.

So, I went in to weigh Wednesday. I weighed 205. I figured I would have gained weight. I'm thankful that I didnt.

I'm back to my regular routine and back on the diet. I also went to the gym for the first time in years today. It felt great!

"Half the Woman"

2008-04-03T17:36:00.010-05:00

It's finally happened. I've decided to lose some weight. For any of you that know me, you know how big a deal that is. I've been steadily gaining weight for the last year. My lack of exercise has finally caught up with me.

After I went to a follow-up appointment with my orthopedic doctor, I made the decision to do it. He told me that I didn't have a choice. I had to lose some weight. It has been affecting my health tremedously. He's actually the 4th doctor that's told me to lose weight. My primary care physician, my cardiologist, and my ob/gyn told me this also. The fact that I have all of these doctors should have been the first sign that I needed to shed a few pounds.

My weight gain has not been caused by eating too much. In the past, it was the cause of weight gain. This time, not so. I'm coming clean in an effort to help someone that is maybe going through the same thing. I gained weight b/c I started starving myself, thinking that I would lose weight that way. It obviously did not work for me. I am now at my all-time highest. I weigh 208 pounds. My body fat percentage was 42.8%. Yikes! I can't belive I just admitted that. My goal weight is 154 lbs. At that point, I'll be almost half the woman I am today, LOL. I have 17 weeks to get the weight off, according to my plan, which is mentioned below. They're telling me it's guaranteed.

Well, now that it's out, I can fix it. I am now accountable to everyone that reads this blog.

So, here's my plan. I joined Metabolic Weight Loss Center in Shreveport. I made the decision that if I paid someone a lot of money to "stay on my butt", I would probably stick with it. Otherwise, you can forget it.

Basically, they give you a diet plan with lots of proteins, supplements, and portion control. You can have some carbs! Otherwise, I wouldn't do it. I can tell you that I'm one of the most stubborn people in the world when it comes to my weight. They have a tough one on their hands. They just don't know it yet.

I've been told that they're very good at their jobs; that they will have no problem keeping me motivated.

So, I am going through something called preconditioning right now. I'm not sure what it's all about. I think it is slowly easing me into what will come next week. I won't find out until tomorrow what the "real diet" will be like.

So, I will keep everyone updated on my progress. I am even going to post pictures sometimes. They may not be pretty! Oh, and in this picture, I have no make-up on. Scary, huh? That's my breakfast in the picture. As you can see, I wasn't very happy.

Wish me luck!

Click HERE to share your comments and read others.

"Bossy"

2008-03-17T20:14:00.005-05:00

I've recently started noticing that my 5-year-old is becoming very bossy. He's usually the laid back child. He's always been outspoken, but never bossy.

For example, I took him to the doctor this morning. Every time he goes, he gets a sucker when he's done; if he's been good.

When we came the spot where the bucket of suckers usually sit, the bucket wasn't there. So, he yells out, "I want a sucker, and I want it right now!"

I almost fell on the floor from embarrassment.

Why is he all of a sudden so bossy and rude? Is it a phase? Have any of you experienced this at this age?

Click HERE to share your comments and read others.

"Six is Chaotic"

2008-03-17T20:03:00.006-05:00

They say that two's company and three's a crowd. Well, if that's true, what is six?

I know; six is chaotic!

That's how many people we currently have living in our house. My husband's sons are here b/c they're out on Spring Break.

So, we have my husband and I, a 5 year old, an 8 year old, a 9 year old, and a 10 year old. They are all boys!

I've quite gotten used to the chaos that goes on in my house. The destruction is just collateral damage.

I've come to realize that I would much rather have 4 boys in the house than 4 girls, or even 2 girls. It seems to me that girls are just harder. Of course, people with all girls say that boys are harder.

I don't know that I could handle having to entertain someone all the time.

It's just so easy with boys. They will play with sticks and bugs and stuff like that. For the most part, you don't have to fix their hair. My 5 year old is a different story. His hair has to be gel'd, wet, and dried every morning.

Even though my boys are destructive and keep the house chaotic, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Click HERE to leave a comment and read others.

"Missing Jamaica"

2008-02-28T21:02:00.007-06:00

My husband and I went to Jamaica on our honeymoon on March 22, 2005. We had such a blast!

I am missing Jamaica so bad.

Have any of you ever been?

We stayed at the Sandals Grande Ocho Rios in Ocho Rios, Jamaica. There were no kids allowed. That's why we picked it. It was great!

Together, he and I have 4 boys; now ages 5, 8, 9, and 10. At that time, they were 2, 5, 6, and 7. When I say we were tired all the time, you have no idea.

We were so happy to get away that we didn't really care where we went. There was something comforting about being on an island in the middle of the ocean, with no possibility of being contacted by the "outside world".

Most parents would be worried about leaving their children and leaving the country. I didn't have that problem at all. My boys stayed with their father and his with their mother. They were in completely capable hands.

Now we both can't wait to get back to Jamaica.

Click HERE to leave a comment and read others.

"Sock Mystery Solved!"

2008-02-28T20:53:00.008-06:00

How many of you have searched high and low looking for your socks? Have you ever thought you were losing your mind? You knew you put them in the dryer together. Why are they not in there any more?

There has been talk of a "sock monster". Does he really exist?

Well, if you're missing your socks, I have the answer. I know where they are!

It's a mystery solved!

They are all under my trampoline in my backyard.

I walked outside yesterday to see if my 4 year old son had left his shoes out there after playing with his brother.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

There was an arsenal of socks under the trampoline. Everywhere I looked, SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!

There is no way that my children wore all of those socks by themselves.

As a child, we used to have a golden retriever that would run the neighborhood and take peoples shoes off of their porches and bring them back to our yard.

Could my kids being doing this with other people's socks? LOL!

I'm sure the parent's of our neighbors have been missing theirs also.

So, if you're missing your socks, I have them.

Click HERE to leave a comment.

"Growing Pains"

2008-02-28T20:45:00.007-06:00

I was so depressed today. What should have been a happy day for me, ended up being a day for reflection and sadness.

You see, my 4 year old baby turned 5. To me, 5 is sounds so much older than 4. He's become school age now.

If it was up to me, I would keep him little forever. I have truly enjoyed him being little.

With my first child, I was tired and stressed out a lot; just from being a new mother and having a new baby.

This time around, it's so much easier. I have actually taken the time to enjoy my children the last few years.

It kills me to watch them grow up though.

My 8 year old is turning into a little man. He says things that are way too old for an 8 year old to say. He's forming opinions of his own and wants to do his own thing now.

I miss the day when he wanted to be with me. Where did that little boy go?

So, I'm faced with the same dilemma I was faced with 3 years ago. My baby is growing up.

I don't like it one bit! I guess you could say that I'm having growing pains.

Click HERE to leave a comment.

"Liar, Liar"

2008-02-26T19:24:00.008-06:00

I have another dilemma with my 8 year old son.

He is constantly lying to me about whether or not he has homework. I've caught him so many times, in a lie, that I'm in disbelief.

I was starting to wonder if this was part of his ADHD or he was just being a rotten kid. But, I knew he wasn't a bad kid. He's very loving and sweet, and smart, and all of those things that all mothers say about their kids, LOL.

But why is he lying to me on a daily basis?

Well, I decided to do some reasearch on this subject.

I read somewhere that it's part of a child's normal developmental process to lie. It read that it's part of how they learn social behaviors. Supposedly, kids lie to make their parents happy. They try to conform to what they think their parents want to hear.

I don't get it though.

Now, when he tells me that he doesn't have any homework; that the teacher said they he didn't have to do it today, I tell him to go get out some worksheets or a book and get busy. Then he'll usually say, "Oh, I forgot, I do have a math sheet to do." LOL!

So how do you deal with this? Should I punish him for it? I've read that punishing them for it only brings attention to it.

Any advice, click HERE.

"Duh"

2008-02-26T19:06:00.007-06:00

Do any of you have this problem?

My 8 year old son has absolutely no common sense. He is an extremely smart kid. He makes straight A's. But, sometimes he does some of the most ridiculous things.

For example, after school today he and his little brother went outside to play on the trampoline. Keep in mind that it was about 48 degrees outside, and windy. He decided that he was going to take his shirt and his shoes and socks off. I was inside taking a test and didn't see all of this take place.

All of a sudden, we heard him crying. A kid that was over, that lives 2 doors down, ran in to tell us that my son was hurt and couldn't walk.

My husband ran outside to see what was wrong with him. We were, of course, thinking that he had gotten hurt on the trampoline.

Turns out that he had gotten so cold that he could no longer feel his feet. Duh!

He said, "I can't feel my feet any more. I don't know what's wrong." I guess it scared him.

My husband said that they were freezing and almost blue.

Why don't kids understand that when it's cold outside, you can't take your clothes off? Isn't that obvious?

I suppose my mother would tell me I did the same thing when I was little.

Do any of you have kids that do things that just don't make sense?

Send me a comment by clicking HERE. I would love to hear your stories.

"Addicted to ANTM"

2008-02-19T13:56:00.007-06:00

What's your favorite TV show?

For some reason, I find 'America's Next Top Model' very addicting.

For the last few weekends, I've watched the entire season. They start off in the morning showing the first episode of let's say, season 7. Then, the last show of the season ends that night. I spent Monday watching about 10 hours of ANTM!

My husband was about ready to strangle me.

What is it about that show that makes me not be able to stop watching it?

Do any of you have a show that you can't stop watching?

Click HERE to share your comments or read others.

"Girl's Night Out"

2008-02-19T13:49:00.011-06:00

As a lot of you know, we're having a 'Girl's Night Out' get together on Friday, February 29th at 6:30. We're going to be meeting at TGI Fridays.

I wanted to post it here also in case some of you didn't see it in the forums.

We're going to have a blast. This is a great way to "get out of the house" and meet other moms in the area.

If you're shy, come anyway. We don't all know each other; just a select few of us have met.

Once you meet all the "girls", you'll feel more comfortable coming to our other get togethers.

If you'd like to read more detail about the get together and talk to the moms, click HERE to be taken to RedRiverMoms.com.

Click HERE to leave a comment or read others.

"Where am I?"

2008-02-19T13:40:00.008-06:00

I'm losing my mind!

Ever since my surgery, in late January, I can't remember anything. I'm not sure if it's the hormones or just being tired. Maybe it's a combination of the two.

I am currently taking 5 college courses. This is my last semester, before graduation, so it's very important that I pass. Well, I keep forgetting that I have classes and assignments.

It's embarrassing to have to email your instructor to tell him/her that you forgot again. I'm hoping that it's just the "menopause" that's causing it. Doesn't menopause cause memory loss? I don't remember.

Two days ago I was driving and ended up on the other side of town. I couldn't remember where I was supposed to be going. I figured out later that I was supposed to be going to Target to return some shoes. For some reason, I was in North Bossier. I think I got the two Targets mixed up. I know it sounds crazy.

But, haven't you ever walked into the bathroom and wondered why in the world you were in there?

Is this what I have to look forward to? Does it just get worse with age or will it get better with HRT (hormone replacement therapy?).

Click HERE to leave a comment or read others.

"How in the h***.......?"

2008-02-19T13:14:00.007-06:00

I think I've created a little monster. My 4-year-old son has been given the chore of making sure the bathtub is clean each night after he and his brother take a bath. His job is to put all of the bottles of shampoo on the sides of the tub, hang all of the poufs on the faucet, and squeeze out the washrags and hang them on the side of the tub.

Well, the night before last, I told them to go get in the bathtub. All of a sudden, I heard in a little 4-year-old voice, "How in THE HELL did this get here?". I ran in there to scold him for saying a bad word. He was standing there, in the tub, with his hand on his hip. I said, "Why did you say that?". He said, "I spent all this time cleaning this mess up, and it was all for nothing!". LOL!

I had to leave the room b/c I was laughing so hard. I'm sorry, but it's just funny to hear that come out of a little 4-year-old mouth. He did get in trouble for saying it, but only after I stopped laughing.

Leave comments and read others by clicking HERE.

"Ode to my Ovaries and Uterus"

2008-01-30T05:49:00.000-06:00

For those of you that have been asking "how I'm doing" and "where I've been", I'm at home recovering from surgery. I really appreciate all the concern and prayers. The surgery went off without a hitch. Good news! No cancer! It's party time!

Last Wednesday, I had surgery to removed a tumor, along with my ovaries. I had already had a hysterectomy in '05. I have to say that I already miss my ovaries. So, I decided to write "An Ode To My Ovaries and Uterus". This will hopefully make it a little easier.

For those of you that are facing a hysterectomy, it will be ok. Maybe this will put a different perspective on things:

"Ode to my Ovaries and Uterus"

You did your job
Through puberty
Through childbirth
And recovery

You made my babies
And did a great job
And kept me from
A constant sob

But now my friend
Your job is through
I find myself not
Needing you

Don’t need the pain
Of fibroids and cysts
The periods
Will not be missed

Don’t need the blood
That never stops
That flows in pints
Instead of drops

Don't give me symptoms
I always feared
Don't need a mustache
Or a beard

Don't need hot flahes
Or mood swings
I'll be just fine
Without those things

Gonna throw away all
My “heavy day” clothes
And line my new panties
Up in rows

And so my friends
A week ago
You and your cysts
Just had to go

Goodbye, old friends
I'll miss you so
I'll miss the way
You used to grow

With cysts and tumors
And who knows what
Now I have to deal
With this large cut

It's a small price to pay
For no more pain
I just hope now
There's no weight gain

No night sweats
Or Irritibility
No hair loss
Or Anxiety

So as you head off
To that Big Blue Sky
Keep in mind
That I will not cry

I may brush a tear
From my cheek
As I remember the days
When you didn’t leak

And as I live a
Pain-free life
I’ll toast the doctor
And his knife!

To leave a comment or read others, click HERE.

"Feeding the Neighborhood"

2008-01-25T03:00:00.000-06:00

What is it about kids that they can't understand that we can't feed the entire neighborhood?

Every time my son's friends come over, he invited them in for drinks and snacks.

I then have to tell them that we can't afford to feed them all the time.

I've told my son over and over not to do this. He just doesn't get it.

Maybe it's because sometimes I cave in and actually let them have something.

In the last neighborhood we lived in, all the little kids loved to hang out at my house. I was the cool mom in the neighborhood. I gave them popsicles, let them have drinks (usually just water) and let them jump on our trampoline.

That was until they started taking advantage of me. It became a real problem. It was one of the big reasons why we moved.

We now live in a nice neighborhood where we really don't have to worry about other parents not watching their children and sending them to my house. It's wonderful!

Now I just have to worry about my own child telling them that they can have free reign of our kitchen.

I guess I'm paying for the past.

If this is the worst problem I have, I'm doing well, right?

To leave comments and read others, click on the comment link below.

"Have I created a poker monster?"

2008-01-24T03:00:00.000-06:00

I've done what I never thought I'd do. I caved and let my husband turn our front (extra) living-room into a poker room.

He's decking this room out, complete with a really nice poker table, new chairs, and a poker table topper for our dining room table. We're also looking at poker pictures for our walls.

What have I done? Have I created a monster? Do I really want a bunch of beer drinking, chip counting, smelly guys at my house all the time? No offense to the men that are reading this.

On the flip side, I can use the poker tables for my Bunko group. I'm sure my husband will love me putting out the pink plates and cups all over his poker setup. LOL! It makes me laugh.

I guess I can't complain. I got the biggest room to decorate myself; the den.

All I can hope and pray for is that I never, ever see a picture of dogs playing poker hanging on my walls.

To leave a comment or read others, click on the comments link below.

"Tears of a Mother"

2008-01-23T03:00:00.000-06:00

Ok, what's wrong with me?

I've been crying constantly the last few months. These days it doesn't take much to make me cry.

I cried today during an Allstate Insurance commercial. It wasn't even sad. Do you remember that commercial from years ago that showed the mother and daughter walking along the beach talking about douche? I used to cry at that also.

I'm watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition right now. It just came on. You know the part where Ty stands outside the families house and says, "Good Morning, "......." family!"? That made me cry.

What in the world is wrong with me? Is this just part of being the mother of 4 boys? Is this just part of being a woman that's getting older (I'm 31)? Is it hormones?

Whatever it is, it's driving my poor husband crazy.

"A Night of Terror"

2008-01-21T03:00:00.000-06:00

We've had a rough couple of nights. My 7 year old son has been having night terrors. He has them frequently when he was about 3-5 years old. Then, they kind of disappeared.

Friday night, my step-sons came into town. When all the boys are here, they want to stay up all night. We usually tell them that they can as long as they're quiet. They usually fall asleep anyway. We've found that if you tell them that they can't stay up, they never go to sleep. It's a reverse psychology of sorts.

Well, Friday night they stayed up the entire night. My husband had to get up twice during the night to get them out of the kitchen and off the computer.

They finally fell asleep at about 6:30 a.m. Saturday morning. At 7:00 a.m., we heard this blood-curdling scream coming towards us. I knew immediately that it was my 7 year old son.

He was screaming uncontrollably. He came into our bedroom and stood on my husband's side of the bed. When asked what was wrong, he said that his foot hurt. We figured that one of the older boys had hit him or something. His eyes were wide open and he was looking at us, responding. We asked him to show up where his foot hurt. Then, he pointed to his head.

He then started pointing in the corner of the room and screaming, "They're killing him. I need help!". He could not be consoled. He was running all over the house.

He described being abducted by aliens, chopped with an axe, seeing his little brother being killed, vomiting, and more.

It was pretty scary.

This went on until 9:15 in the morning; almost 2-1/2 hours total.

It wasn't until I called his father, in Texas, that he woke up. Something about his father's voice snapped him out of it.

I tried leading him back to his bed to go back to sleep. That wasn't happenening.

Then, on Saturday night, it happened again. This time, it only lasted about 30 minutes.

At about midnight Sunday morning, we called his father again. Again, his father's voice is what snapped him out of it.

Has anyone ever heard of this working? I wonder why him talking on the phone, to his father, is what worked?

To leave a comment and view others, click HERE.

"My New Year's Resolution"

2008-01-20T18:27:00.001-06:00

This new year has got me thinking. Should I make a New Year's Resolution? Is it even worth wasting my time and thoughts?

In the past, I have made resolutions. To this day, I have not kept one of them. Not one.

However, this year I feel more compelled to make and keep this one.

I am currently working 30 hours per week, taking 5 college courses, and raising 4 children. Not to mention that I'm having surgery this week.

So, what's my resolution for this year?

To survive all of this without going crazy maybe? To remain civil to my husband and children in spite of the stress I'll be under? You would think.

But, that's not it at all. My resolution is to stop procrastinating so much and start being more motivated when it comes to school.

This is my last semester. I'm due to graduate in May, assuming all goes well. This degree has been a lot of years in the making. I was very indecisive about what I wanted to be "when I grew up". I finally decided on Web Design.

How am I going to keep my resolution? I have no idea. I would appreciate any recommendations or suggestions.

To leave a comment and read others, click HERE.

"Mommy's First Day of School"

2008-01-15T21:54:00.000-06:00

Well, school finally started. I am now half-way through the first week. As it stands right now, I'm just extremely excited to start a new semester knowing that it's my last. I look forward to seeing the friends that I made along the way. I saw all of them again tonight.

I truly feel like home at BPCC (where I'm taking all of these lovely classes).

Well, let me tell you one thing that happened at BPCC today that didn't make me feel like home.

I had been having a lot of abdominal pain and was pretty much on bed rest. But, being the stubborn person that my husband says I am, I went to school.

As soon as I got on the elevater, along with 10 or so others, the thing stopped working. When we'd punch the numbers, nothing happened. It was either too much weight from the previous load (as I'd like to think) or it was too much weight from the load I was in (of course that's not possible). I only weight 98 pounds. LOL!

If you believe that, I have some real esate that I'd like to sell you, LOL.

Anyway, so we call got off the elevator and headed toward the stairs. I knew that having the abdominal pain, being tired, and having a bad knee and back, it wasn't going to be pretty.

But, off I went.

I took about two steps and rested, then two more, then rested, and so on. By the time I finally made it to the third floor, I could barely breathe. That silly high-tech elevator is always breaking down. Always!

But, I digress........

All in all, it was a good day. Tomorrow will be an entirely different story. I'll fill you in later on that.

To share comments and read others, click HERE.

"A Little Shocked"

2008-01-13T23:03:00.000-06:00

I have a lot of explaining to do to my parents, I think.

Yesterday we were riding home from Longview, TX and my son wanted to call his "Mimi". He wanted to tell her that he had gotten his report card and that he had made straight A's, 4 O's, and 1 S.

We were so proud of him!

Well, after he finished talking to Mimi, my 4 year old son wanted to talk to her.

I'm not sure what possessed him to do this, but he began singing a song, and here's how it goes:

"Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Don't you?" Then he said something about waiting for the rinse cycle.

I was thinking, where in the world did he hear this. I was informed by my mother that it was on the Alvin & the Chimpmunks movie. I can't remember what else was in that movie, but it seems that there were a lot of inappropriate things like that said for a kid's movie.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those mothers that won't let her children listen to anything that's cool or watch cool movies, like Transformers.

It just really shocked me that they would put that in Alvin & the Chipmunks.

Did that bother anyone else?

Oh, and GO LSU-Congratulations Guys!

Share your comments and read others by clicking HERE.

"Can I pull it off?"

2008-01-07T09:41:00.000-06:00

It's almost that time again. Time to go back to school. I'm talking about me, not the kids.

I'm currently attending college, majoring in Web Design & Development.

This is supposed to be my last semester; then I graduate! Yippee!

I'm just a little scared this time b/c I'll be taking 4 classes, working almost full time, and handling 2-4 kids and their activities. Who wouldn't be scared, right?

Well, I just hope I can pull it off. Everyone wish me luck!

To leave a comment and read others, click HERE.

"Join us for Red River Moms Bowling Night!!!!"

2008-01-02T21:01:00.000-06:00

I'm so excited to be a part of RedRiverMoms.com! We have some great stuff coming up. I wanted to write about it here to get more of the word out.

We are having RedRiverMoms.com Bowling Night January 4th (Friday) at 6:30. It will be held at Holiday Lanes in Bossier City on Old Minden Rd.

We have a certain number of lanes reserved, but we welcome anyone who wants to come to be there. Just find a babysitter and come hang out with the moms!

We're going to have a blast!!!!! I promise!

Can't wait to meet everyone!

If you'd like to drop me a message or have a question, click HERE.

"What's in your stocking?"

2007-12-22T18:02:00.000-06:00

So what is everyone getting their kids for Christmas this year?

I have 4 boys, as you know, and I'm not even going to begin to tell what all they got.

A big thing that moms are talking about is what to put in their stockings. Every year, moms wait until the last minute to figure out what to get for stockings. It's always a last minute scramble to the dollar store. Well, for me it is.

So, share with me what you got.

My boys got a bunch of stuff from Dollar General. I got everything from magic cards, to cologne spray, to magnets.

It's sure to end up laying around the house or lost by the end of the week, but I refuse to spend a lot of money on stocking stuffers. To me, the stocking has always been about little things.

Actually, my mom used to put apples and oranges in my stocking. She did this mainly b/c she would forget until the last minute. I don't remember it ever bothering me.

What did you get when you were little?

Share your comments and read others by clicking HERE.

"Christmas Without Santa?"

2007-12-13T14:11:00.001-06:00

Is everyone ready for Christmas?

For the first time ever, I won't have my two boys for Christmas. I will, however, have my 2 step-sons.

It won't be the same b/c I don't think they believe in Santa Claus (truly). Will this be a Christmas without Santa?

I'm afraid that I'm going to wake up and start crying immediately.

FYI......my boys are going to be with their father for Christmas. I'm glad b/c he hasn't had them in a couple of years.

I had them in '05 and again in '06 b/c my husband was in Iraq. He felt sorry for me I guess. I got them two years in a row.

Have any of you had to deal with this before? How do you get past it?

"I'm Living In A Circus!"

2007-12-11T15:13:00.000-06:00

For the past 4 years of my life, since the birth of my second son, I have felt like I've been living inside a circus tent with a bunch of animals.

There's something to be said about being the only woman in a house filled with 4 little boys and 1 big boy. There is a lot of testosterone!

When I say testosterone, here's what I mean.....

My 4 boy's idea of fun is to tie my 4 year old to the bunk bed poles with duct tape. Then, they attach as many toys as they can find to the ceiling fan, turn it on, and hope that they hit the 4 year old in the head on their way down. All the time, my 4 year old is cracking up.

Another thing that they think is fun is to get on the top bunk of the bunk bed and jump into the air and land on pillows. The things is, their room is so small that they end up plowing straight into the wall.

When I hear all the crashing sounds going off around me, I know what it is. Of course, they get in trouble. But, boys will be boys. They wait until I'm not looking and start thinking of new things to do.

Here's a example of what my 7 year old did to me when he was 3. I was exhausted. He was sitting with me on the couch, watching tv, and I fell asleep. I didn't mean to, but I did.

I woke up and couldn't move. I was thinking, "Oh no, someone has broken into my house and tied me up."

Then I looked down. My cute little boy had found duct tape and managed to tie me down to the couch with the tape. He had wrapped it around and around until I couldn't budge at all. Can you imagine trying to explain to a 3 year old to go get the scissors, "BUT HOLD THEM DOWN"! It took forever to get out of that mess.

This is the perfect example of what can happen when you turn your back or fall asleep with the kids in the house. Don't do it!

If you have animals, it's even worse, for them. The toys are simply replaced with the cats and dogs!

Click HERE to share your comments and read others.

"Supermom, please come out!"

2007-12-04T10:28:00.001-06:00

Well, it's about that time......

My school finals are here. For those of you that don't know, I'm going to college to get a degree in Web Design & Development.

Finals are just around the corner, and I'm dreading it with all that I am.

I don't dread it nearly as much as I'm dreading next semester. I'll be taking 4 classes (full-time) an working pretty much full-time. Not to mention that I have two kids in karate and will have two kids playing baseball and teeball.

How in the world am I going to pull this one off?

If there is a Supermom somewhere deep inside of me, I'm begging that it will rear it's head.

Share your comments with me and read others by clicking HERE.

"I Hate Shopping!"

2007-12-04T10:19:00.000-06:00

How many of you are doing your Christmas shopping online this year?

I have pretty much gotten everything off of Ebay. I'm addicted!

My goal this year was to not set foot in any store. I absolutely refuse to stand in long lines.

I did have to go get some wrapping paper, etc. That was ok.

My husband and I decided, a few days ago, to go to Toys R Us to get a couple of presents for my two older sons. Well, I didn't really want to do it originally, but I decided to suck it up and go.

It was the most horrible experience of my life!

Well, not really. But it was bad!

My husband walked around that store for almost two hours trying to pick something out. He would sit and stare at stuff for like 20 minutes and not say anything.

It's almost as if he went "stupid".

I later asked him what was wrong. Apparently, he was overwhelmed. We ended up leaving with absolutely nothing.

I was about ready to strangle him by that time. I told him I couldn't handle it anymore.

I would pick something out, and he would shoot it down; over and over and over again.

Oh well, I guess it's back to the internet.

Share your comments with me and read others by clicking HERE.

"What to do?"

2007-12-04T10:10:00.000-06:00

Ok ladies, I have a dilemma.

My son recently got a Gameboy Advance SP. He didn't have any games or anything for it, so I ordered some off of Ebay for him for Christmas. They just came in the mail.

Of course, he took the Gameboy to his father's house a week ago and lost it. Now, I'm stuck with these Gameboy games and nothing to use them on. That was a good chunk of my budget for his Christmas presents.

There's going to be one disappointed little boy at Christmas. He'll open presents that he can't use.

What to do?

Should I try to resell them and get something else? I don't want to buy him another Gameboy b/c I don't feel that he's responsible enough to keep up with it now.

Share your comments with me and read others by clicking HERE.

"Deadly Internet Hoax"

2007-11-29T09:05:00.000-06:00

Have you heard about the internet hoax that has recently been in the news that resulted in the death of a 13-year old girl? If you haven’t, please click HERE.

This is extremely troubling to me. My kids are not old enough to be involved in things like My Space yet, but it scares me nonetheless.

This poor girl was the victim of a classmate's mother. The mother pretended to be a 16-year old boy that showed interest in her. Then, towards the end, she sent messages to her stating that “the world would be better off without her”.

This girl was already suffering from depression, and the mother that did the hoax knew that. Apparently, she was trying to get information about the girl. This is why she did it in the first place. However, it makes me wonder why she decided to be so mean? Was she trying to push the girl to kill herself? She had to have known that it was a possibility.

Do you think that there should be a law against this type of crime? What should the punishment be?

Share your comments and read the heated debate by clicking HERE.

"The Reverse Mohawk"

2007-11-24T19:35:00.000-06:00

Well, he did it again! My sweet-innocent, 4-year old son found a pair of scissors and cut himself a reverse mohawk. This isn't the first time he's done this.

I've been working so hard to get his hair to grow out from the last cutting incident. I had finally gotten it right.

Well, he went to spend the holiday week with his father and his family. I got a call from my ex-husband saying that our 4-year old had cut his hair AGAIN!

I just knew that he was kidding and playing a joke on me. He had no idea how upsetting the whole hair thing is to a mom. I'm so sick of having to buzz all of his hair off. Now, here we go again.

I don't know if you can tell from the picture, but he almost scalped the front of his head. The back remains untouched. Is there something I can get to make the front grow faster?

I have decided to make my son wear his hair like this to school so that all his friends can laugh at him. I don't know what else to do to get him to stop cutting his hair.

Any suggestions?

Share your comments and read others by clicking HERE.

"The Preschool Brawl"

2007-11-15T08:32:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, when I picked my 4 year old up from preschool, I was asked to sign an incident report for him fighting.

I was so mad at him.

It said that he had some kid in a headlock, was punching him, and the kids friend jumped on my son to pull him off and scratched him (my son got scratched).

I told my 4 year old that if he was fighting he deserved to be scratched. That was before I found out how it all transpired.

I asked my son why he jumped on this other kid. He said, "Daddy said to never hurt girls." I said that was right. He said, and I'm going to make up names, "Jason was hurting Emily's arm. He was fighting with her, and she's my friend Mommy. I didn't want him to hurt her anymore."

So, my son tackled this boy, put him in a headlock and started punching him in the gut (from what I understand). I think he only hit him twice. I was all prepared to ground him, for his first time.

How can I ground him for doing something that his daddy and mommy told him to do. We've always told him that if someone is hurting a girl, stop them and hurt them back. We didn't think he would take it that literally at the age of 4. We were talking about down the road.

Apparently, there were 4 kids rolling around on the ground fighting by the time this was through.

I can honestly say that I would have paid big bucks to see that fight. There's just something about a preschool brawl that's funny to me. I don't condone fighting at all, but was this one excusable?

Of course, I told my son that he didn't handle it the best way. I was proud of him for protecting that little girl, but next time he needs to just tell the teacher that someone is hurting her.

Did I handle this right?

Share your comments and read others by clicking HERE.

"The Madeline McCann Case 2"

2007-11-14T12:28:00.001-06:00

I have still been hearing things here and there about this poor little girl, Madeline McCann that went missing from a "hotel room" in Portugal on May 3, 2007. If you are not familiar with this case, click HERE to read more.

It really saddens me that there has been so much controversy surrounding her disappearance.

At the same time, I guess the publicity is good for the case.

I have gone back and forth on whether or not I think the parents are involved in her disappearance.

There was a time that I was completely convinced that they did it. The forensic evidence surrounding the car that they rented after she disappeared was a clincher for me.

Now, after watching recent videos of the parents pleading with people, I wonder how they could possibly be involved and sound so sincere.

Are they just really good actors or were they responsible? What's your opinion?

To share your comments and see what others are saying, click HERE.

"Giving Birth Control Pills to Students?"

2007-11-09T15:02:00.000-06:00

I'm sure all of you have heard about the middle school in Maine that is offering their students birth control pills in their clinic without their parent's consent.

If not, click here to read more.

I just wonder how many of the parents there are against it? I know that the parents have the right to refuse to let their child go to the clinic b/c of this. However, that leaves the child out of getting basic medical care that they may not get otherwise.

So, what's a parent to do?

Do you fight?

Do you pull your child out of this school?

Do you let your daughter take the birth control pills behind your back?

Personally, I would sit down with my daughter and tell her that if she came to the point to where she needed them, to please come talk to me first. That's just my opinion.

What would you do?

Post your comments and read others HERE.

"A Cup of Coffee"

2007-11-08T09:00:00.000-06:00

This weekend was wonderful.

We just moved into a new house and have a great backyard.

My husband and I put together the kid’s trampoline.

I can’t tell you how good it felt to just sit out in my backyard on my wooden swing and watch my husband and my kids play.

He played football with them. He wrestled with them on the trampoline. It was great!

You know that feeling you get when you just sit and stare at your children when they’re sleeping, wondering how you could have created something so beautiful?

Well, I had that feeling while they were awake!

It’s a miracle!

All I was missing was a cup of coffee!

I think I’m getting old!

Here’s some proof of that.......

The last two months or so, if I wake up anytime past 5:00 in the morning (to go to the bathroom), I don’t go back to sleep. So, I end up getting up at 5 or 5:30 every morning and watching the news; and I look forward to it!

If that’s not proof, I don’t know what is.

Post your comments and read others HERE.

"Growing Pains"

2007-11-07T09:00:00.000-06:00

Last night I had a major flashback to the days when my boys were babies.

I was up all night with my 7 year old son.

I think he was either having growing pains or Charlie Horses.

I felt like a horrible mother because I was getting so frustrated with him. I did not like being woken up. I did sit and massage his leg each time I got up.

There’s just something about a big kid screaming in the middle of the night that gets under my skin. I kept telling him, “There’s nothing I can do about it. Stop crying!”

I know that it was just my frustration with being woken up that was talking. What in the world was I supposed to do to fix that? I tried giving him Tylenol, Benadryl, massaging, and holding him. Nothing worked.

I finally had to just sit there with him. I fell asleep, sitting on the edge of his bed several times.

I think he just wanted me to sit there and watch him cry.

It’s a horrible feeling to see your child in pain and not be able to do anything about it. He was looking at me as if he was thinking, “Why can’t you fix this?”

Does anyone have any tips on Charlie Horse or growing pains?

Post your comments and read others HERE.

"When did 31 become old?"

2007-11-06T09:15:00.000-06:00

For all of you moms out there that feel older than your age, I feel your pain.

I swear the day that I turned 30 I started to feel old.

I woke up to my first wrinkles.

Maybe it was that I just hadn’t noticed them before because I felt young.

Maybe it was because Father Time has a little more control than I would like to think.

Who knows?

All I know is that when I put my eye shadow on now, my eyelids move with my eyeshadow brush. I get clumps of make-up there and have to fade it in throughout the day.

Is this Father Time’s cruel idea of a joke?

Why is it that women have to start looking tired as they get older? Why do men start to look better? I hate that!

Am I the only one that has to put 5 pounds of moisturizer on every morning and night so that my face won’t crack and peel off?

On the rare occasion that I forget to do this, I wake up looking like I’ve just had REALLY bad plastic surgery. You know that look.........your face is so stiff from being dry that you can barely smile.

I’m also starting to get puffy things under my eyes. What’s that all about? I feel sometime like my eyes are going to disappear into my head. It could have something to do with the weight that I’ve gained recently. I’d rather blame it on aging though, LOL.

Whatever the reason for this process called aging, I don’t like it!
I guess God is an unwrinkled, good looking man!

Post your comments and read others HERE.

"Something's Gotta Give"

2007-11-05T14:42:00.000-06:00

I’m sure I’m not the only mom going through this. I want to share this little tidbit of my life in hopes that someone out there has a solution for me.

First, let me tell you a little about myself:

I’m a 31 year old mother of 4 boys. They are 4, 7, 8, and 10. The older two don’t live with us. They are my step-sons and live with their mother in Texas. However, they do stay here often.

I’m also a student majoring in Web Design. I work part-time.

Here’s my problem........

Starting next semester (January), I will be going to school full time. That means I’ll be taking 4 classes, probably at night. I will be working about 32 hours per week or more.

Right now both of my boys are taking karate. So, twice a week for two hours, I sit up at the karate place with them.

Last year my 7 year old son played fast-pitch baseball. He wants to play again this year, of course.

Not thinking, I promised my 4 year old son that I would let him play teeball this next year as well.

How in the world am I going to manage all of this? Last year, when my older son was playing baseball and karate, we had something every night but Thursday. I’m sure my younger son’s teeball will take the only extra night.

How do you balance the schedules of the two kids? I cannot take them out of karate b/c it’s a year round activity. I guess I can continue to pay for it and not do it. I don’t want to teach them that it’s ok to quit one thing just to do another. Plus, they want to do it.

As long as my son’s grades aren’t suffering, I don’t have a problem with it. I just wonder if any other moms have dealt with this kind of schedule? How do you do it?

Share your tips HERE.

"What's happening to the world?"

2007-11-05T14:15:00.000-06:00

There have been so many bad things in the news lately that it’s got my mind racing again.

What’s the deal with all the school shootings?

There are many questions that I ask myself when I see these stories:

Where are the kids getting the guns?

Are the parents responsible for their kids actions?

Why didn’t someone see the signs and do something before it happened?

Is there anything that really could have been done to prevent it?

Do you feel there is anything that, as a parent, you need to do to keep your child safe in his/her school?

I’m sure that most moms ask themselves some of these same questions.

There have also been a rash of children being run over while crossing streets, etc. Why?

Kids have always crossed streets. Is the media just reporting it more or are the number of accidents going up?

After hearing about some of the recent stories of children being run over, I wonder how old a child should be before he/she is allowed to ride his/her bike in a neighborhood (assuming it has sidewalks). My son is 7. I let him ride to his friends’ houses every once in a while. Is that too young?

Boys are just so independent. I know when I was 7 I rode all over the neighborhood. Have things changed too much?

Update: I've answered my own question about whether a 7 year old was too young to ride his bike to his friend's house. My son was found last night about 7 blocks from our house crying and screaming my name. He was lost. Thankfully, a nice lady noticed him and brought him to me. If you're reading this Mrs. Wallace, thank you!!!!!! Thanks also for telling him to never ride with strangers, LOL! Needless to say, my son will not be riding his bike to his friend's house for a while. I knew there were dangers, but it never crossed my mind that he could get lost going around the corner. What is the appropriate age for that?

Read comments and leave yours HERE.

"Moving Day"

2007-10-29T20:56:00.000-05:00

I have to start by saying that these last few weeks have been some of the most exhausting of my life; next only to childbirth.

Our family moved this month.

Anyone who has ever moved knows why I’m exhausted.

It’s not just the moving as much as it is the 4 children hanging off of my legs while I was trying to lift a 50 pound dresser. That was just my end.

While I was going from one end of the old house to the other, going through old clothes and stuff, my kids were supposedly playing ball in the yard.

All of their toys had already been moved so there wasn’t much for them to do.

Well, I started in my boy’s bedroom, going through their old clothes and pulling the ones that no longer fit. I put them in a trash bag and went to the next room.

Next room..........Toy room.

My boys had a “toy room” where the video games and books and big TV were.

I methodically went through all of that stuff, throwing away anything that wasn’t absolutely necessary for their survival.

I did let him keep the Playstation 2. I know.....it doesn’t seem necessary for his survival, but it is.

It’s not b/c he will just die if he doesn’t have his Playstation 2.

It’s more that if he doesn’t have his Playstation 2 to keep him out of my hair, I may strangle him (that’s a joke for those of you that take things WAY too seriously).

So you see, it is necessary for his survival!

Moving on...............

When I finished their toy room, I moved on to the master boudoir (LOL! I’m laughing hysterically right now). That place was so far from a boudoir.
It was more like a really bad motel. You know the kind; the ones you see in horror movies.

So, as I finished up the master bedroom I heard some noises on the other side of the house. It sounded as if the boys were playing ball in the house or something. I thought I’d better check it out.

When I walked into the “toy room” I almost lost it. They had unpacked everything I just packed up. They were playing with all the toys.

I made them repack everything themselves. It took them about 4 times what it would have taken me to do it. It was the principal of it. So, we waited until they were done and got out of there as quickly as possible.

Now I’m sitting here, in my beautiful house, enjoying the peace and quiet.

It’s been a long day....................

Read comments and leave yours HERE.

"Was the shooting death of a 7-year old boy preventable?"

2007-10-04T12:09:00.000-05:00

The recent death of a 7-year old boy who was shot by his mother’s boyfriend’s 5-year old son was devastating to me. For those of you who didn’t hear about this story, click here:
http://www.shreveporttimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070928/NEWS03/709280328

The saddest part is that the mother wasn’t even aware that the gun was in the house. Apparently, she didn’t live there. I believe it was her boyfriend’s home.

She stated that she didn’t like guns.

A lot of parents are aware that guns should be placed in a locked box or cabinet out of a child’s reach. However, how can we control what goes on at other people’s homes?

The most logical solution is to keep an eye on your child at all times, but all moms know that this is not always possible; especially if you have more than one child.

What could this mother have done to prevent this tragic accident?

Read comments and leave yours HERE.

"Britney Loses Her Kids"

2007-10-02T09:24:00.001-05:00

I’m sure most of you have heard by now that Britney Spears lost custody of her boys. The court has decided that they are better of with K-Fed.

What has the world come to?

It seems that K-Fed was always the one that was irresponsible. I never thought I would see the day that he would get custody of two children over her.

I’m not saying that it’s not the best decision for all involved. I know that Britney has been acting a little crazy lately.

It does leave me wondering what the judges deciding factor was.

From what I’ve read and heard, it was because Britney has failed a few drug and alcohol tests; not to forget that her body guard has come forward b/c he was concerned about the welfare of her children.

He stated that she was abusing drugs and alcohol in front of the children and walking around nude in front of them.
Was that the deciding factor?

I wonder if K-Fed was also drug and alcohol tested.

Whatever the case, I feel really bad for Britney. I can’t imagine what she must be going through emotionally. She’s definitely had a rough go of things lately. Is this just going to send her over the edge?

What’s your opinion?

Read comments and leave yours HERE.

"Moms Band Together"

2007-09-25T14:22:00.000-05:00

I’m so proud of all of the local moms that have come forward to help start the support group for mom with newborns.

After the case of the mother who threw her newborn baby girl across the room, causing her death (you can read about this by clicking on the story called "Mother throws newborn" on the right side of this page"), there was an outcry of mothers wanting to do something to help.

Most moms wondered if that mother could have possibly been depressed or had post-partum depression. I guess anything’s possible. Having been through PPD myself, I understand the frustration that can occur at a moment's notice. This is why a group like this is needed.

We’re having our first meeting this Saturday at 10:00 a.m. A bunch of moms from RedRiverMoms.com are getting together. I think it’s going to be a blast!

I think Shreveport/Bossier has the best moms in the country! Southerners really are more friendly than other places.

Any of you that haven’t read about the support group and the mom’s meeting, click here:

Support Group (http://forums.redrivermoms.com/viewtopic.php?t=768)

Mom’s Meeting (http://forums.redrivermoms.com/viewtopic.php?t=599)

Everyone that wants to come is welcome! I’m just hoping the weather cooperates.

See you there!

Read comments and leave yours HERE.

"What kind of message is 'Jena 6' sending our children?"

2007-09-21T09:17:00.000-05:00

By now I’m sure everyone has heard about the Jena 6 situation. This is the case where 6 African-American boys are being prosecuted for the beating of a white kid after some racially motivated incidents. If you don’t know much about the case, click here:
About Jena Six

Or click here for extended news coverage about the rally:
Jena Six Rally

I hate to give my personal opinion on such a delicate subject, but what kind of message is this sending to our children?........
It’s ok to not let black kids sit under the same tree as white kids and for white kids to threaten black kids, but it’s not ok for black kids to assault white kids in retaliation?

Maybe the black kids shouldn’t have assaulted that kid, but I’m not the one that was being threatened on a daily basis. Who knows what really took place. I'm not justifying what they did. I'm just feel like the racial tension is due to the fact that people don't realize what all happened to these kids. After all, they are just kids.

What were the police and judges thinking?

Is the law enforcement so corrupt in Jena that they thought they could get by with this?

In my opinion, both sides should have been prosecuted for something. The white kids should have been prosecuted long before it got this far. That’s just my opinion. I’m sure some of you will disagree.

What’s your opinion? Do you think this is sending our children the wrong message? Is this going to make racism worse?

Read comments and leave yours HERE.

"Mother Throws Newborn"

2007-09-19T13:14:00.001-05:00

I’m certain that this topic will spark a lot of controversy, but I feel compelled to write about it.

I’m sure most of you have read about the mother who threw her newborn baby across the room, then snatched her up and subsequently broke her arm. If you haven’t heard the story, click here:
http://shreveporttimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070919/NEWS03/709190332/1002/NEWS

This is so tragic.

There is nothing that justifies what this mother did. However, I find myself trying not to be judgmental. It’s hard though.

I understand that being the mother of two small children is extremely stressful. I had a newborn with colic. Trust me, I know.

Maybe this mom just snapped. Maybe she had an anger problem. Who knows.

It says that the fiancée said she was a good person. That’s got to count for something.

What’s your opinion? Do you think that the mother snapped? Do you think that she was just an abusive mother?

UPDATE (9-19-07....5:03 p.m.): I just saw that the baby girl was pronounced dead a few minutes ago. Please keep the family in your prayers.

Do you think she should be charged with muder?

Also, I have decided that it may be a good idea for some local moms to form a support group for new mothers. To read more, click here:
http://forums.redrivermoms.com/viewtopic.php?p=2792

Read comments and leave yours HERE.

"The Vulnerable Child"

2007-09-13T15:00:00.001-05:00

One thing that parents have to worry about, that they didn’t have to worry about 10 years ago, is internet predators.

These days you never know who it out there. The internet is filled with dirty old men (and dirty young men), and possibly women, trying to get information about your child.

When I started this job and was required to write a blog, I never thought that I would have to be careful of what I wrote. I knew not to do the obvious things like state their names and where we lived.

However, it has been brought to my attention that people can find you no matter what you do or don’t do. If they want to find you, they can.

I have tried to be very careful about not mentioning my children’s names.

I’m writing this blog entry b/c I want parents to be aware of the little things that can tip a predator off.

Simply mentioning an event that your child has been involved in (i.e. baseball games, etc.) can be a clue. You could say that your child played in the city baseball tournament and won. Then, if you were to post a picture of your child, with his/her uniform on, they could find out what team they played on. Don’t forget that most children’s last names are printed on the back of their shirts.

Internet predators are patient. They will sit and wait for the right information.

So what can a parent do to protect their child?

First of all, be sure to warn children (no matter their age...if they can use a computer, warn them) about internet predators.

Go over the things that predators can use to gather information and make sure they don’t give that information out.

MySpace has become a haven for internet predators. Kids’ pages are filled with pictures of their personal activities and their friends and families. This is just adding fuel to the fire.

If your child is old enough to use MySpace, monitor their account. It’s almost impossible to monitor everything your child does on the computer, but there are steps you can take to protect them. Don’t ever let a child have computer in their room. This is where problems begin. While you’re sleeping, a child can get on the internet and do things without your knowledge.

Since I’m not the parent of a teenager, I can say not to do that. I’m sure it’s easier said than done. I do realize this. I can’t imagine trying to make a teenager understand why they cannot have any privacy.

For those parents that have younger children, like me, just keep this in mind for the future. A family computer placed in the living room is optimal.

Another thing that parents can consider, with older children, is having them sign an agreement saying that they will follow the rules that you have set for using the internet. Having a teen sign an agreement gives them an accountability that they would not have had before.

Have any of you ever heard of having a child sign an agreement stating that they will not commit suicide without first talking to an adult? This has been proven to be effective. It’s the same principle.

Most importantly, make sure your child knows that it’s never ok to meet anyone from the internet without you being present. I know that teens meet friends (not just sexual conquests) on the internet. So, saying that you must be present is more realistic than saying they can’t do it at all. Put this in your contract.

Do any of you have any other tips for parents on how to keep your children safe online?

Read comments and leave yours HERE.

"The Madeline McCann Case"

2007-09-12T08:59:00.000-05:00

Recent new evidence in the Madeline McCann case has me pondering this question yet again……

What in the world were they thinking?

For those of you that don’t know about the case, Madeline McCann is a 4-year old little girl that disappeared from a hotel room while vacationing with her parents in Portugal.

Madeline and her twin siblings (2-years old) were asleep in their hotel room. That night her parents decided to go out to eat with some friends. They made the fatal mistake of leaving their children unattended in the hotel room. Again, what were they thinking?

Upon questioning, the mother claimed that it was normal for parents to leave their children unattended in Portugal. She stated that she could see the hotel room from the restaurant. How in the world is that possible? She may have been able to see the window. Unless she was expecting her children to climb out the window, why does it matter that she could see it?

From what I’ve read, they have never found the little girl. However, they have found evidence that may suggest that the child’s corpse was inside of a car that they rented 25 days after her disappearance. 25 days? What in the world? Why would they hang on to the body for 25 days, or am I misunderstanding this?

Regardless of whether or not the parents are the ones that killed her, they should be punished for leaving those precious children alone.

This upsets me tremendously. I just cannot understand what they were thinking, unless they’re guilty.

Maybe I’m being too judgmental. Tell me if I’m wrong.

Read comments and leave yours HERE.

You can also discuss this by going to RedRiverMoms.com and viewing the "In The News" section in the forums or by clicking HERE.

"Britney Blow Out"

2007-09-10T21:47:00.000-05:00

Ok ladies, what happened with Britney last night? Was she on something?

I didn't watch the show, but I've seen so many clips that I feel like I was there. I was stunned by her lack of enthusiasm. She seemed like she didn't want to be there at all.

This morning on "The View", Whoopi Goldberg stated that she thinks that Britney doesn't even want to entertain anymore. She thinks that she is just doing it because she doesn't know anything else to do.

I guess when you've got people in your face telling you that you need to do something, you tend to "go with the flow".

Honestly, I don't really care.

I just thought that it was sad to see her messing up so badly. The really sad thing is that there are still lots of young girls that look up to her. She's a role model for our children.

As a mom, what do we do?

How do we approach the subject of these hollywood startlets' behaviors?

As a mother of all boys, I don't have to worry about Brit. However, I'd like to know, do any of the moms out there with girls talk to them about who their role models are.

Do you tell them that what these girls are doing is wrong and that they shouldn't be idolized; that they're just humans like us.

Let me know what you're opinion is by leaving me a comment HERE.

"Should children be alone at the bus stop?"

2007-09-04T09:11:00.000-05:00

Is anyone else frightened by the thought of their child standing at a bus stop with no adult supervision?

My son just started riding the bus to school. I told him that when he was old enough to be out of a booster seat he could ride the bus. I dreaded this day for years!

So, when he hit the 60 pound mark, I knew he would ask.

Of course, he did.

For the first few days I stood out there with him at the bus stop. Keep in mind that it’s right across the street from my house. I don’t actually have to leave the house to keep an eye on him.

But, when my son realized that I was the only mother that was out there everyday, it was brought to my attention that I was cramping his style. I really don’t care about that, but I decided that I would watch from afar.

My concern is that a child is very vulnerable. They could be kidnapped. I guess it’s much better to have several kids at one bus stop, like my child does. But what about the children that are alone?

Now I sit in the house and watch through the front door. Am I the only mom that does this? He’s only 7. Am I being paranoid?

Check out the comments and share yours by clicking HERE.

"Hoax or Warning?"

2007-08-31T11:41:00.000-05:00

Ok ladies. How many times have you gotten an email that attempts to scare the “you know what” out of you by telling you that you’re going to be abducted, raped, or murdered if you do a certain thing? Well, let’s talk about that for a minute.

I used to get these types of emails every day it seems. I was the first one to forward it to all my friends and family and warn them about the latest “scam” that was taking place in parking lots.

One day, I got an email from a friend telling me that this never really happened. Here’s an example of one such email:

Imagine: You walk across the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside. Then you lock all your doors, start the engine and shift into REVERSE. Habit! You look into the rear-view window to back out of your parking space and you notice a piece of paper, some sort of advertisement stuck to your rear window. So, you shift into PARK, unlock your doors and jump out of your vehicle to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view . . . when you reach the back of your car, that is when the car-jackers jump out of nowhere . . . jump into your car and take off — your engine was running, your purse is in the car, and they practically mow you down as they speed off in your car.

BE AWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME

Just drive away and remove the paper that is stuck to your window later . . . and be thankful that you read this email and that you forwarded it to your friends.

Have you seen this one before? I’m sure many of you have. This is one of the milder ones that I’ve seen.

Well, some websites claim that it’s not true. If you go to snopes.com, you can see if the email you got is actually a hoax or not.

Actually, just typing it into your preferred search engine is better. For this one you could type in hoax parking lot carjack. This should bring up snopes.com as the second entry or so. If it’s not there, chances are it’s not a popular email hoax.

I just came across a great site in my favorite search engine. Click here to read the article

Here’s the thing. Just because it’s a hoax, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t pay attention to it. These are usually things that could actually take place.

Even worse, they have been known to scare up the “scum of the earth” and cause copycatters.

You know, these are the guys that were spit back out from hell.

Or, the guys I used to date!

Ok, don’t get me started on that. Moving on…….

So, the moral of the story is……

Go ahead and read these emails. Just don’t open any attachments. You may actually learn something.

Be careful ladies and take heed! You’ve been warned.

Check out the comments and share yours by clicking HERE.

"Wal-Mart Woes"

2007-08-30T13:06:00.000-05:00

How many of you moms dread going to Wal-Mart or any store with your kids?

Maybe it’s just because I have 4 boys that are 10 and under.

Maybe it’s because I don’t have the patience required to walk through Wal-Mart when it’s crowded.

Whatever the reason is, I just hate it!

Here’s a typical trip to Wal-Mart with my kids………

As we pull up into the parking lot, my boys start opening the car door before we’re even parked. There is always some majorly expensive sports car parked right next to us. Of course, my 4 year old slings his door open and almost hits the car. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve almost had a heart attack over this.

I dread the day that I have to leave a note on someone’s car explaining that my child has decided to maul their $50,000 vehicle. I’ll also have to tell them that I’ll pay for it, but that they’ll have to let me pay it in monthly installments.

I really try to be honest, but I still dread it. Who wouldn’t?

So, once I find a buggy in the parking lot that isn’t covered in chewing gum or some other foul substance, I take off running to grab it. Meanwhile, my boys are sitting in the car fighting and hitting each other. They’re fighting over who can spit the biggest loogy at the car next to us. I just hope that the sun melts the loogy before the poor man sits in his nicely polished convertible.

Ok, so I have the buggy and am on my way back to the car. All the time I have them in site. Trust me; I would never leave them unattended. I’ve learned my lesson there.

While I’m on the way back to the car to load them up, I realize that they are whispering and laughing. I don’t even want to know why. So, we load up and make our way to the front entrance. I feel like I have entered the twilight zone.

All of a sudden, a sense of doom hits me. I’ll soon know that it’s the premonition that I may go to jail today.

I usually make the 4 year old ride in the front part of the buggy. My 7 year old stands on the end of the buggy, jumping off every chance he gets. He’s daring me to run over him. Little does he know that I think that it's funny. This is one of the little things that make me smile. If I happen to have my step-sons, ages 8 and 10, with me they walk beside me. Well, that’s the plan anyway.

As we enter the store, I realize that I have forgotten to bring in wipes. Any mother knows that this can be an absolute disaster! Even though my youngest is 4, it doesn’t mean that there won’t be a mess.

I usually spend half my time trying to keep him from grabbing all the food off the sample lady’s cart. He will literally scoop and hide it until I’m not looking. So, we always bring wipes. Not only does he eat all the samples, but he also ends up getting some kind of drink from somewhere in the store.

Normally, some little old lady thinks he’s the cutest thing she’s ever seen, offers him a drink, and here’s what transpires:

Little old lady: Look at you. You’re a big boy aren’t you? He’s so cute! How old are you?
4 year old: I’m 4. I go to preschool and my mommy beat me up yesterday.
Little old lady: What? She beat you up?
4 year old: Is my mommy going to go to jail?
Little old lady: Uh, Uh, Uh
4 year old: My Mimi is old as dirt.
Little old lady: Why does your mommy beat you up?
4 year old: Because I shot a rock through my dad’s truck with my sling shot. She didn’t really beat me up. She just told me that it was bad.
Little old lady: You shouldn’t tell people that your mommy beats you up honey.
4 year old: Why?
Little old lady: Because she could get in trouble.
4 year old: Cool!

I got lucky. There were no police in the general vicinity.

Anyway, you can see why I don’t like to take them in public. Actually, my 4 year old has gotten better about embarrassing me. When I say better, I mean he doesn’t do it as much anymore. He’s moved on to bigger and better things.

Oh, and I have since figured out what all the laughing and whispering was about in the car. Apparently, this is the “planning phase” of our trip. For those of you who don’t have more than one child, the “planning phase” is when the older child tells the younger child what to do to embarrass mommy in the store.

So, while we’re trying to load our buggy up with healthy foods, my older boys are sneaking junk food every chance they get. They seem to be able to slip it into the buggy without me noticing. I wonder why that is?

Hmmm, could it be because I’m still trying to explain to the little old lady, and the other 3 people that overheard the conversation, that I really didn’t beat him?

By the time we get to the checkout line, I’m sweating like a fat man chasing a runaway M&M.

My boys are, of course, mesmerized by all the trinkets that the store has so conveniently placed in the checkout lines. I cannot tell you how many times I have to tell them, “No, we don’t have enough money for that.” That just doesn’t seem to comfort them.

Meanwhile, the clerk has totaled my grocery bill. I have managed to spend $350! What? How in the world am I going to explain this one to my husband? I don’t care if it took 3 cars to get it all home. Men just do not understand how it’s possible to spend that kind of money and only come back with what I got.

Maybe it’s because of the kids clothing that I threw into the mix.

Maybe it’s because I didn’t pay close enough attention to the prices.

Most likely it’s because of the junk food and toys that were unknowingly added to my buggy.

Whatever the reason, it will be MANY, MANY years before I ever go back to Wal-Mart with the kids in tow. That’s what I keep telling myself.

I’ll see you there next week! Just look for the woman with kids hanging off her legs and a big pile of cans on the floor next to her.

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"Meeting Billy Cannon"

2007-08-27T12:52:00.000-05:00

Today is a good day! I’m not sure why, but I’m in an unusually good mood today. Those days are few and far between lately.

I’ve been really enjoying my 4 year old son this last month. I rarely got to spend time alone with him before. You’ll have to read my previous stories to understand why I can now.

I am starting to notice that he is getting spoiled terribly! In one of my previous posts I talked about whether or not I could be spoiling him. Well, it’s starting to show.

I know it’s not too late to reverse it. I’m starting now.

This weekend he just acted very bratty. He wanted things and he wanted them right then! He has never been one to throw fits. However, I saw a couple this weekend.

Saturday, we went to Reeves Marine to get Billy Cannon’s autograph. For any of you that were there, you know how long the line was.

We waited almost 4 hours to get his autograph.

By the way, if you don't know who Billy Cannon is.....he is only the greatest college football player ever! You can read more HERE.

My 4 year old was with us. They had a few things for the kids to do there, but when we started getting close to the front of the line, I had to make him stand with us.

By the time we got to the front of the line he was climbing on everything. It was chaotic.

When we finally got to Mr. Cannon my son climbed up in his lap. He wasn’t invited or anything. He just did it on his own. He is the kind that thinks everyone is his best friend. He makes other people talk to him. He was constantly saying, “Mr. Cannon, Mr. Cannon…….”. I think he probably drove this poor man crazy!

In case anyone doesn’t know, Reeves Marine has a great selection of LSU stuff! Anything from LSU car mats to footballs (which sold out Saturday) to pens, they have it!

Regardless of the excessive time that we had to wait in line and the excessive damage it did on my wallet, we had a great time! He seems to be a really nice guy.

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"Tired Moms"

2007-08-22T19:47:00.000-05:00

Ok, I have to say that I’m officially tired.

I’m not sure if it’s because of all of the stuff that’s going on with my 7 year old son or what.

Maybe it’s the heat.

Maybe it’s the gout. Oh yeah, did I mention that I have gout? I’m officially getting old! I always thought that this was something that only old people got. When my doctor told me that it was why my ankle was hurting, I said, “No way!” I still don’t believe him.

Gout? Isn’t that an infection or something?

It sounds like something really disgusting to me.

But, thankfully, I have a good doctor and his treatment seems to be working.

It’s official. I really AM getting older. I’ve started talking about my medical problems to anyone who’ll listen. LOL!

But, I digress.

I’m still not sure why I’m so tired. I think it could be because of my 4 year old. Maybe he’s sucking the energy out of me. He’s definitely got enough for 4 people.

Today, he’s having a sleepover with his cousin at our house. She’s also 4. They are so excited! I’m sure her mommy and daddy were more excited though. LOL!

Maybe I’m tired because of the endless responsibilities that I have. I just recently started school. I’m getting a degree in Web Design & Development. My classes are late at night on various days.

I’m working part-time and a mommy full-time.

If you're tired, check out the RedRiverMoms.com forums, under "Mom To Mom", for more tips from moms on how to get some much needed sleep.

I’ve also been helping out my church. They run an organization called Bossier Kids, Inc. Basically, the organization takes foster children from the state and puts them in safe, loving, Christian homes. It’s a great organization! I’m so proud of them and to be a part of anything that they do!

Who wouldn’t be? Who wouldn’t want to help a foster children’s organization?

There is so much to be done with them. They need help with lots of things, but most of all they need money. So we’re doing whatever we can to get that going. It’s hard when you don’t have the resources you need. Basically, Bossier Kids is supported off of donations from the community. They have a few regular supporters. Thank you so much to them! I just don’t think it’s enough. There’s got to be something that can be done.

Recently, I’ve been trying to sell a car on EBay that was donated to Bossier Kids. The listing ended today and didn’t sell. It didn’t meet the reserve price. To make things worse, someone has hit the door of the car with their car door (just the other day). This left a dent and the paint came off. Plus, there is now a dent on the front fender.

Is anyone knows of someone that does body work that would be willing to help this charity out, please let me know.

You can email me at mswanson502@yahoo.com

This means so much to them. It’s a 1973 Volkswagen Beetle. You can see the listing by clicking HERE.

To end an already long story, I’m tired but in the end, it’s definitely worth it!

What is it that makes you tired?

Check out the comments and share yours by clicking HERE.

"A Silent Weekend"

2007-08-16T10:20:00.000-05:00

I feel like it’s time to celebrate!

I won’t have any kids this weekend! Hooray! Hooray! It’s a miracle!

Seriously, I’m taking my 4 year old to his daddy’s for the weekend. So, my husband and I will be at home with no kids. We’ll probably just sit and stare at the TV all weekend.

It’s kind of like we don’t have anything to talk about when the kids aren’t around. He doesn’t talk much anyway. What’s going to happen when the kids all grow up and move out? Is that what happens? Couples get divorced b/c they don’t have anything to talk about?

Of course, I don’t see that happening with us, but I can understand why it happens with other people.

My husband and I kind of have an understanding. When we met, he told me that he doesn’t talk much. So, I knew I was destined for a life of talking to myself.

For a while, I thought I could change him. I tried to make him hold conversations. But ultimately, he won. He really doesn’t like to talk.

I’m ok with that now. My family has even come to be ok with it.

Now I’m left with the thought of “what will I do this weekend?”. I know one thing I’ll do. Saturday night, some of the girls from RedRiverMoms.com and I are going to get together. I’m going to be teaching them the ins and outs of selling stuff on EBay.

It’s a good way for me to meet other moms and help other people at the same time. If any of you ladies want to come, shoot me and email at melswanson@gannett.com.

Check out the comments and share yours by clicking HERE.

"The First Official E-Bay Club Meeting"

2007-08-14T13:10:00.000-05:00

It’s finally here! On RedRiverMoms.com, I started asking other local moms if they were interested in starting an E-bay Club. Basically, I would be teaching moms how to sell their stuff on E-bay to make a little extra money at home.

We had a few takers!

A gracious Red River Mom has volunteered her home for the first meeting! Thank you Kathy!

The 1st official meeting is being held this Saturday, the 18th, at 6:00 p.m. at a local mom’s home.

This class is a FREE class. We just ask you to bring something to take notes on and a good attitude!

I will be teaching the class.

Some of you may already know how to use E-bay, but there are a few things that you can do to enhance your listings.

Maybe you have some ideas you’d like to share.

If you’re interested in joining this club for whatever reason, go to this link on RedRiverMoms.com:
http://forums.redrivermoms.com/viewtopic.php?t=384&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

You will need to register for a free account to become a Red River Mom. It’s easy. Just go to RedRiverMoms.com (http://redrivermoms.com/) and click on the Welcome Guest link at the top right of the page. Follow the registration instructions from there. If you have trouble registering, let me know.

Well ladies, I can’t wait to see you there!

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"The Perfect Party!"

2007-08-14T11:38:00.000-05:00

We went to a birthday party this past weekend for my niece. I wanted to share a little about the place.

Her party was held at a place called “The Swim School”. It’s a business that provides swimming lessons to children and adults.

They also host swimming parties there.

I took my son, and he absolutely loved it!

First, they let the kids swim for about 45 minutes-1 hour.

Then, they call all the kids to come back to the party room. They served the cake and punch.

Last, they let the child open his/her presents. It was a typical birthday party.

However, the staff does all the work for you! They even corral the kids when the birthday child is opening his/her presents. They make sure that the kids stay seated.

One thing I always hated about birthday parties is when all the kids would swarm over the presents.

They would inch closer and closer until the birthday child was finally underneath a pile of kids.

Oh, I forgot to mention that they also provide life jackets for those who cannot swim. There is also a lifeguard on duty.

It’s an indoor pool, but there isn’t air conditioning where the pool is. So, they offer to watch the kids while the parents sit inside in an air-conditioned room on leather sofas.

Most parents wouldn’t be willing to leave their child in a pool where they couldn’t see them, so they provide TV screens that go from floor to ceiling.

The cameras are focused right onto the pool so that you can see your child at all times.

The part that my son liked best (4 year old son) was the rope swing! They have a roped that hangs from the ceiling over the deep end of the pool.

They let the children swing out and drop into the water. There were 3 year olds doing this even.

I think the party costs about $250 for 20 kids. It’s perfect for the child that wants a swimming party but was born in the winter.

Anyway, I just thought I’d share this with everyone. If you’re looking for a place to have your child’s party, check it out.

Check out the comments and share yours by clicking HERE.

"She's Having A Baby!"

2007-08-10T10:22:00.000-05:00

OMG! I am so excited! I’m not sure if my sister wants me to announce this to the world, but she just found out that she’s pregnant!

This is something that I’ve been waiting for for years. You see, I cannot have any more children and don’t need any more.

So, there’s nothing better than having a sibling that has a baby. You can spoil them and then leave. LOL!

It’s what I imagine being a grandmother will be like.

My boys are very excited also. They are already waiting for the baby to “come out”. My 4 year old said that he wants to be the first one to hold her (if it’s a her).

I don’t have the heart to tell him that he won’t be. So, I’m just going to let him think that he is. I mean, he’s 4. How much can I explain to him anyway?

I think that my sister is hoping for a little boy, though I’m sure she’ll love whatever she has. She already has a little girl though. I think she’s been a handful. Girls are tough.

Not a day goes by that I am not thankful that I had boys. I can’t imagine having all girls. I would be a basket case by now.

To anyone out there that has girls, my hats off to you!

Check out the comments and share yours by clicking HERE.

"Am I Spoiling Him?"

2007-08-07T13:57:00.002-05:00

Here we go….it’s time to start karate!

My 4 year olds first class is tonight. He gets to dress up in his little karate uniform, with his white belt, and all!

He is so excited that he didn’t want to go to preschool this morning. I reminded him that he would be having karate class tonight without thinking that he had no concept of time.

Of course he asked, “Can we go right now?”

I had to try to explain to him that it didn’t start until tonight. If anyone has ever tried to explain the concept of time to a 4 year old, you know how it went.

I have found, through the advice of my readers, that this time should be spent doting over my 4 year old. We are spending a lot of quality time together.

Here’s my problem……….

For some reason, I have been taking him to buy a new toy every night. It’s not that I feel like I have to buy his love. I think that I just run out of things to do.

So, we go to either Target or Toys R Us, usually get a new train for his GeoTrax set, and take it home and set it up.

He is really into toy trains! He’s got the GeoTrax set and the Thomas Take Along set. He LOVES them.

For now, I’ll try not to worry too much about spoiling him. There will come a point to where he’ll expect it though.

Oh, and if you haven't read my previous posts, you may want to go back and read some of them so that you can see why this is important to me.

What do you think?

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"Summer's End"

2007-08-02T14:32:00.000-05:00

It’s been a long summer! During the summer, my boys stay with their father and my step-sons stay with my husband and me. This requires a LOT of driving. The trips between picking them up and dropping them off have put a real damper on our finances. It seems that we only travel the day after the gas prices skyrocket.

I’ll be glad when school starts. To me, the routine that the Fall brings is comforting. The summers are always filled with uncertainty, as was proved this summer. I’m not sure I can take another one like this.

For now, I’m going to concentrate on making sure that my baby boy is happy and healthy.

This will be a time of great reflection for me.

I’m hoping that with the new season a sense of comfort will come, although I’m not counting on it.

I’m learning to just try and go with the flow and stop fighting. I feel powerless in my endeavors as of late.

I am comforted by the fact that I have a great job to go to each day. It distracts me from the chaos. The jokes from my co-workers and words of encouragement from my readers keep me going each and every day. Thank you!

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I do know that I have my precious little 4 year old boy and that he’s not going anywhere.

Check out the comments and share yours by clicking HERE.

"Movie Mayhem 2"

2007-08-01T11:49:00.001-05:00

Well, I did it! I made the bold decision to take my 4 year old back to the movies.

I decided that I would give him another chance to “act right” in the theater. If you don’t know what I’m referring to, scroll down and read the entry called “Movie Mayhem”.

I decided to pick him up from preschool early and take him to see Ratatouille or Rabittouille as he likes to call it.

We stocked up on candy and one drink and in we went. I have to say that I was nervous. I was tired and not really ready for a fiasco like the last one.

But, I wanted to have some one on one time with him and see how he would do.

Before we went into the theater, I gave him the speech about not talking out loud and not drinking his entire drink all within the first 5 minutes.

You see, he HAS to have something to drink while he’s at the movies. He’s always got to have something to drink. He’s like a camel in the desert.

We found a seat, in the front row (so that I don’t have to climb up and down the stairs every time he needs to potty) and sat down.

Immediately, he starts talking very loudly. He says, “It’s taking too long to come on. When will it be over?” This was before the movie even started.

He pretty much talked as loudly as he wanted throughout the entire movie. I would tell him each time to whisper or just be quiet.

A few times I had to take him out of the theater b/c he couldn’t hear me telling him to be quiet, LOL.

We ended up going “potty” only three times. This is a small miracle! Anyone that knows him will understand. For him to last 2 hours and only go three times? That’s just crazy!

I do have to say that the movie was very good. I liked it. I don’t think it’s just for kids. I’m by no means a movie critic, but I would suggest taking children from the age of 2-12 to see it.

By the time the movie was over, we were more than ready to go. Out the door we went with our pillow, blanket, and my umbrella of course!

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"Am I Doing The Right Thing?"

2007-08-01T10:45:00.002-05:00

All of this chaos has got me thinking, “Am I doing the right thing?”

I feel that I did the right thing in allowing my son to entertain the thought of living with his father.

I feel that I did the wrong thing in allowing the boys to be split up.

The thing is I can’t have it both ways.

So, what is the right thing to do? Is it to fight to get my son back and make this already delicate situation even worse? Is it to keep them split up?

For me, letting both of them go live with their father is absolutely not an option! The 4 year old doesn’t want to live with him, and I don’t think that he needs to be away from his mother. Plus, my 4 year old is REALLY close to his step-father. He’s pretty much raised him since he was 1-1/2. He adores this little boy.

The relationship between my 7 year old and his step-father isn’t that close. They get along and my husband loves him and visa versa, but they met when he was 4. So, he was already close to his real father. My 7 year old is the one that has really taken the divorce hard.

I guess the good thing is that it was a very peaceful divorce. It’s only now that it’s getting volatile.

I say that it’s volatile, but it’s mainly because I cannot accept him leaving. So, I’ve become a difficult ex-wife. I told my ex that it’s not personal. It’s because he’s come between me and our children. I cannot sit back and watch this all unfold without saying anything.

I think he understands, but he certainly doesn’t like it.

All in all, I think he’s a great person. I just think that he’s not making the best parenting decisions. I feel like he’s letting his emotional needs cloud his best judgement.

Could I be wrong? I’d like to hear both sides of the story from people out there.

Check out the comments and share yours by clicking HERE.

"The Karate Kid"

2007-07-31T09:14:00.001-05:00

I realize that my last few posts haven’t been very positive. There’s just a lot going on right now.
I thought I’d share something that I’m excited about.

While my 7 year lived with me over the last two years, I had him enrolled in karate. He loved it! I had signed a 12 month contract in February to continue paying. Since he’s decided to live with his father, I’m kind of stuck paying it for no reason.

Well, I talked to the people at the karate place yesterday and they agreed to switch the contract over to my 4 year old.

This is big news to him!

He has wanted to do karate since he turned 4. We just couldn’t afford two kids.

I guess this is one thing positive that’s come out of my 7 year old moving (for my 4 year old at least).

It’s going to be so cute watching this little guy kicking and posing! I can’t wait. Plus, I’m a mom that likes to be involved in karate, baseball, etc.

It’s funny…….I feel like I’m starting over as a parent.

Check out the comments and share yours by clicking HERE.

"A Nightmare Come True"

2007-07-30T11:31:00.000-05:00

Well, I wanted to update all of my readers about my dilemma with my 7 year old son. If you read my blog called “The Child That Leaves” you’ll understand this story better.

I picked up my 7 year old from his father this weekend. I wanted to spend at least one weekend with him in case he did decide to stay with his father.

I was hoping, of course, that he would change his mind and tell me that he wanted to stay with me. The entire weekend I listened for those magical words.

They never came.

This has been the most heartbreaking thing that has happened to me since I’ve had children. It’s like a nightmare come true.

This precious little angel that I carried in my stomach for 9 months no longer wants to be with me. That’s pretty much what it boils down to.

I feel betrayed. I also feel like a horrible person because of the anger I’m feeling. Why do I feel this way?

This weekend I literally lost it! All of the frustration that I’ve been feeling about this situation came to a head. Of course, I took it out on my ex.

No matter how hard anyone tries to make me think that it’s ok to let him live with his father, I will never understand. In my mind, there is absolutely no reason to split him and his 4 year old brother up. No one will ever make me understand how that’s ok.

My 4 year old was crying after we dropped off his brother this weekend. He told me that he was mad at his brother and that he would never have a real brother ever again. He told me that he didn’t want to sleep by himself (they have always shared a bed despite having their own beds). He said that he wanted to sleep with me. This breaks my heart.

At this point, I’ll take any suggestions and any prayers that I can get. Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers.

Until then, I just have to stick it out.

Check out the comments and share yours by clicking HERE.

"Flashback To The 80's"

2007-07-27T14:09:00.000-05:00

Last night, I attended an 80’s flashback party. Everyone dressed up like they were living in the 80’s again.

You have no idea how much fun that was to me!

I LOVED the 80’s. I loved the big hair, the bangled bracelets, and the bright makeup.

I’m sure my parents wouldn’t agree. I was outrageous in the 80’s. I would wear a ball cap, flip the brim up, and spike my bangs over the top of it. Then, I would get mad when they wouldn’t let me go to church like that.

My poor parents!

So, last night I wore some black stretch pants and a pink tank-top with a black mesh top over it. I tied the black mesh top in a knot on the side. I remember this to be the “in thing”.

Over my black stretch pants, I wore some pink leg warmers. Then, to make it worse, I wore two pair of socks; one pink and one white. Do you remember stacking the different colored socks?

I found some horribly gaudy hot pink earrings at Wal-Mart. I also found some glittery jelly bracelets.

I was just missing one thing; the perfect shoes. I searched high and low for some jelly shoes. Remember those? I just remember how much they hurt my feet. One of my toes would always be sticking out of one of the holes.

Oh, I forgot to mention; to top it all off, I wore bright blue eye shadow, hot pink lipstick, and WAY too much blush!

All in all, it was a great night! I can’t wait for the next one!

I’m telling everyone now, save your clothes and put them in a time capsule of some sort. They WILL come back in style. Everything from the 80’s is on it’s way back! Yikes!

Has anyone else had a favorite decade that they’d like to relive?

Check out the comments and share yours by clicking HERE.

“The Child That Leaves”

2007-07-25T09:30:00.000-05:00

I want to thank all of my readers. I just started writing this blog this month. I have found it to be lots of fun though. I really enjoy having people respond, whether it’s positive or not, and tell me their opinions. After all, that’s what a blog is for.

I have assumed the role of the controversial mom, I think. To me, parenting is all about the ups and downs.

I feel that it’s important to share my experiences in hopes that it may help someone else out there that is going through the same thing.

On that note, I digress…….

I am absolutely devastated by some recent events. My 7 year old and 4 year old sons went and stayed with their father this summer, in Texas. About 1 week ago, the 4 year old came back. He just couldn’t be away from his mommy any more.

The 7 year old hasn’t come back. The problem is he may not. He has decided that he wants to live with his daddy now. This has absolutely broken my heart. I fought and fought with my ex-husband to let him continue to live with me, but he just wasn’t going for it. He really wants him there.

I completely understand how he feels. I have no worries that my baby will be taken care of there. He’s a great father! I’m lucky to at least have that. But, I just cannot get past the fact that he’s going to be split up from his little brother. I know that it will devastate the 4 year old.

Personally, I don’t think my 7 year old is old enough to make such a complicated decision. I feel like the parents are the ones that should make decisions like that. I feel like it’s my job to just tell him how it’s going to be and make him understand we have his best interest at heart.

The thing is I have his father to worry about as well. I do want him to be happy. Being apart from his children has been a constant struggle for him. I have no hostilities against my ex. So, I feel that I need to try to be more understanding.

I just don’t think that I’m being unreasonable to not want to split them up. What do you think?

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