"The Preschool Brawl"
Yesterday, when I picked my 4 year old up from preschool, I was asked to sign an incident report for him fighting.I was so mad at him.
It said that he had some kid in a headlock, was punching him, and the kids friend jumped on my son to pull him off and scratched him (my son got scratched).
I told my 4 year old that if he was fighting he deserved to be scratched. That was before I found out how it all transpired.
I asked my son why he jumped on this other kid. He said, "Daddy said to never hurt girls." I said that was right. He said, and I'm going to make up names, "Jason was hurting Emily's arm. He was fighting with her, and she's my friend Mommy. I didn't want him to hurt her anymore."
So, my son tackled this boy, put him in a headlock and started punching him in the gut (from what I understand). I think he only hit him twice. I was all prepared to ground him, for his first time.
How can I ground him for doing something that his daddy and mommy told him to do. We've always told him that if someone is hurting a girl, stop them and hurt them back. We didn't think he would take it that literally at the age of 4. We were talking about down the road.
Apparently, there were 4 kids rolling around on the ground fighting by the time this was through.
I can honestly say that I would have paid big bucks to see that fight. There's just something about a preschool brawl that's funny to me. I don't condone fighting at all, but was this one excusable?
Of course, I told my son that he didn't handle it the best way. I was proud of him for protecting that little girl, but next time he needs to just tell the teacher that someone is hurting her.
Did I handle this right?
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posted by Melissa Swanson at 8:32 AM
Melissa is a student, a working mom, and the mother of 4 boys (ages 4, 7, 8, and 10). She is costantly fueled by the tenacity of her boys and their ability to make her laugh! What they say is true, "Laughter is the best medicine!"
3 Comments:
I think I'm with you. I don't think I would have been able to punish my child for protecting a girl. That's what their supposed to do.
Maybe you could have told him to pull the kid off and not actually hit him. Of course, I wasn't there. Maybe he did try that.
sounds like you did your best- he had his reasons for the fight & you guys discussed it, the options, how it might have been avoided/handled differently-you did your mummy part!
i try not to get too mad at my child if he ends up in a fight- most of the time there is a darn good reason for it anyways-
every time mine has ended up in one (which isnt all that often considering his age) he has been defending someone else who was in the line of fire for whatever reason- i just talk to mine about it & ways it could have been avoided-there were some that just werent avoidable due to lack of supervision/willingness to listen on the monitoring teacher's part...
The thing that worries me is that their daddy tended to get in a lot of fights when he was younger. It kind of runs in his family I think. I don't want my boys growing thinking that fighting is always the solution. But, how do you attempt to explain that to a 4 year old? I can talk to my older boys and they understand. I just never thought I'd be having this discussion at this young age.
Today, I went to my 4 year old's Thanksgiving lunch at his preschool. I ended up sitting right next the father of the little boy he was pounding on. We discussed the brawl. Both of us were in agreement that it wasn't that big of a deal. The boys were acting like they were best friends today.
I asked my son if that little girl was his girlfriend. He said, "No m'aam (did I spell that right?), she's just a little girl." I guess that's good that he's defending girls no matter what. It could have been worse. He could be the kid that beats up the girls (I don't think that other little boy was intentionally hurting that girl-they were probably just playing). However, my son saw it as an opportunity and took it. I just hope that he didn't use any of his karate moves. He's been taking karate for a while now.
Mimi, I think you're probably doing a great job with your son. He is a boy, and older one at that, and they're going to fight occasionally. Just be proud that he's defending the "little people".
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