"Summer's End"
It’s been a long summer! During the summer, my boys stay with their father and my step-sons stay with my husband and me. This requires a LOT of driving. The trips between picking them up and dropping them off have put a real damper on our finances. It seems that we only travel the day after the gas prices skyrocket.I’ll be glad when school starts. To me, the routine that the Fall brings is comforting. The summers are always filled with uncertainty, as was proved this summer. I’m not sure I can take another one like this.
For now, I’m going to concentrate on making sure that my baby boy is happy and healthy.
This will be a time of great reflection for me.
I’m hoping that with the new season a sense of comfort will come, although I’m not counting on it.
I’m learning to just try and go with the flow and stop fighting. I feel powerless in my endeavors as of late.
I am comforted by the fact that I have a great job to go to each day. It distracts me from the chaos. The jokes from my co-workers and words of encouragement from my readers keep me going each and every day. Thank you!
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I do know that I have my precious little 4 year old boy and that he’s not going anywhere.
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posted by Melissa Swanson at 2:32 PM
Melissa is a student, a working mom, and the mother of 4 boys (ages 4, 7, 8, and 10). She is costantly fueled by the tenacity of her boys and their ability to make her laugh! What they say is true, "Laughter is the best medicine!"
8 Comments:
"I’m hoping that with the new season a sense of comfort will come, although I’m not counting on it."
Come on, Melissa!! Let's be positive now! No, it may not be PERFECT comfort, but we can accept things as they are and be in much peace about it even though life may be falling apart around us. And, from what I've read, it doesn't appear life is falling apart for you at this point. ;-)
"I feel powerless in my endeavors as of late."
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NKJV)
And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”
Many times, God either brings us to or allows us to get to a state where we are totally helpless and powerless. He did it many, many times to His people Israel in the OT. They would end up completely helpless (eg: at the Red Sea), and then He would step in. He knows humanity and what it takes for man to begin looking to Him for help. He knows that pain, lonliness, powerlessness and uncertainty drive us to look for the answer. He longs to be that Answer for all our concerns.
Some will choose to turn to Him and make it a lifestyle. Others learn, but that lesson soon fades away. Others, still, never do learn and continue in the same pattern their whole life -- one misery after another, while God still waits with open arms for them to "get it".
In comparison, it really matters little how we get to a point where you feel you are, Melissa. What really matters is that God wants to show us how strong He is IN and BECAUSE OF our weakness. Until we realize just how completely dependent upon Him we are as humans and then DO SOMETHING about that, we will continue to hold onto our self-worth, using our own worldly wisdom to get by.
He desires our dependence, not because He boasts in our failure, but because He knows He is perfect in all that He does.
Compare that to how much you love your child being dependent upon you and how much joy you get in helping him when he can't do it himself. Why? Because you know how to help him and know that your help will show him just how much you love him. That's true with God, too, but the big difference is that God is perfect and His answer is infallible. Ours aren't always such.
God's trying to teach you something. Are you willing to go to His school one more time? If you are, the "degree" you earn through this will be more valuable than any you've ever gotten from man. :-)
I really don't know what to say. I'm rarely speechless, LOL. That's a lot to think about though. Let me reflect on that a little bit.
I'm really trying to be positive though. Each day it gets a little easier. I'm thinking that I'll really be ok.
I look forward to your reflections and will post no more until then. I tend to go on too much at times.
I will also, when I finish this post, say a prayer that God be a part of those reflections, giving you just a glimpse of how much He desires to be your strength and Teacher in this.
Don't think you're bothering me with your long posts. I think it's helping me to keep things in perspective. I have really learned a lot from my readers.
Be POSITIVE ! It will soon pay off with your family and your childrens lives. Go to the Lord with your problems he has all the answers,even if they are not what we want to hear. Put your children first and then yourself ,your children are in God's hands not your's this why things happen that we dont understand why. Have you ever seen children that dont have a father figure they usually turn up going the other way are being a woman hater even if there is step dad ,then they think he trying to replace their dad. Their are so many reasons why your son is going to live with his dad but right now is not the time for you to know. God will answer you soon he takes care of she children first . I know I talk to people eveyday with problems and you are doing the right thing. Enjoy the end of summer , enjoy the cool weather in the fall but most of all just reflect on your children and what they might be dealing with right now. Summer's almost at end.
Thank you so much. It's good to hear others saying that I'm doing the right thing. I wonder every day if I should have fought harder. It kills me to think that I may make a bad decision that will affect the rest of their lives.
I think you are fighting a no win battle. You are doing the best job as mother should {above and beyond} for your children. Time will tell and you are with atleast one of your children. One day your boys will Thank you for being such a understanding mom. Just be Positive every day and take care of the little one.
Thank you! I hope that I'm doing the right thing. I am very thankful that the 4 year old is still with me. I'm spoiling him really badly!
I don't know what I'd do if he left too.
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