"Movie Mahem"

I need to know if anyone else has a horrible experience every time they take their toddler to the movies.

Last Friday, I took my husband and 4 year old to see Transformers. Yes, I “took” my husband to see it.

I want to apologize to everyone that was at the 6:50 movie. If you were there, you know who you are before I even tell this story.

Well, we know that when we take him to see a movie, we’re going to have to make at least 5 trips to the bathroom. I’ve finally come to grips with that. What I didn’t expect is that he would embarrass me every time we went.

The first time I took him to the bathroom, he saw a lady walk in that had a severe limp. He said, “Mommy, what’s wrong with her legs?” I just calmly said, “Her legs are fine.” That was the least embarrassing thing.

When we got back in the theater, he proceeded to ask me questions that were super embarrassing. I have decided not to repeat those questions. Sorry.

The next trip to the bathroom he asked me, “Mommy, why is that lady tooting?” I wanted to run and hide! I mean, what do you say to that. I know the lady heard him. He asked me at least 5 other questions that time. I could hear the laughter coming from the other stalls.

When we got back into the theater, he waited until it was completely quiet and said, “Mommy, my tummy hurts. I need to go poo-poo.”

I honestly cannot remember what all he did after that. I kind of blanked out. We did end up moving up to the front row of the theater b/c he was disturbing everyone in there. At least up there he could crawl around on the seat without everyone hearing every little sound he made.

Someone needs to come up with a baby/toddler room in the theaters (kind of like churches have).

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"Mimi's Not Old"

My mother is the proud grandmother, also known as “Mimi”, of 5 grandchildren and 2 step-grandchildren. So, she always has a story to tell. Here’s one that she is especially proud of…..

The other day my brother-in-law asked my sister (Mimi’s daughter) what time she was leaving to go shopping with the Old Lady. You see, my sister and my mother go shopping pretty much every weekend. This is something that they’ve always done. Me, I’m not up to it.

My sister’s little 4 year old girl, we’ll call her Abby, overheard her daddy ask her mommy when she was leaving to go shopping with “The Old Lady” (he was talking about my mom). Abby immediately put her hands on her hips and said, “My Mimi loves me and she is NOT old!”

I think my mom will talk about this ‘til the day she dies. After all, she still tells everyone she’s 40. Love U mom!

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"The Local Hangout"

Ok, I’m tired of being the local hangout. Here’s why…..

In our yard, we have a huge swingset and a huge trampoline. For the last 2 years, we have let pretty much any kid that wanted to jump on the trampoline jump. I had to meet their parents prior to them being in my yard though. We have so many kids walking around our neighborhood all hours of the day and night (ranging from 3-13 years old). Some parents just don’t care where their kids are; as long as they’re out of their hair.

Well, my theory was that I’d rather these kids have somewhere safe to play (my house) than to roam the streets. So, they always came to Mrs. Melissa’s house. My boys loved it! They always had someone to play with.

All the neighborhood kids knew the rules and what they could not do. Well, one day I pulled up in my driveway to find a 10 year old boy on top of my roof. He was apparently getting his football off the roof.

First of all, their not supposed to be in my yard if I’m not home. Second of all, their really not supposed to be on the roof! I went crazy! I banned that child from my yard for good. The next week, I pulled up to find my storage building had been tipped over and the trampoline had been moved.

I found out that it was the same child, and a friend of his, that had done this. They decided that the storage building would make a good launching pad for their little bodies. They were jumping off the storage building onto the trampoline. So, I finally went and talked to that child’s parent.

Now, I’m not letting any child in my yard without my permission and my kids being out there. I don’t think that’s unreasonable, is it?

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